Jamie needs to let Nix figure out how he’s going to live the rest of his life as this person Hayes shattered into fragments—how to remake himself with what’s left. The only way Nix is going to do that—and what he’s been telling them all since the beginning—is if he can prove to himself that he isn’t as weak as Hayes made him believe, that he is deserving of loving his mates and being loved in return.
No matter that they do, anyway.
“Nix. I was wrong. So wrong. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault but Hayes’s. You are so strong. I understand now. I’m the one who is weak and afraid. We can do this together, yeah? I was so very wrong to try to make you give this up. You told me why, and I’m so sorry I didn’t listen.” Jamie isn’t ashamed to beg for Nix’s forgiveness, not now and not ever.
“We are going to work together, and I can’t promise I still won’t be afraid for you. I will always love you that much. But if we do this together…if we’re in this life together, no matter what…then I think I can be brave—not as brave as you, but maybe a little.”
Nix sighs, rubbing the place on his own chest where Jamie is hurting, too. “Will you take me home, Jamie? Grayson needs me, and I don’t want him to hurt any longer.”
Jamie picks him, holding him close to his chest, and Nix curls into his throat.
The short drive home is silent, and when they pull into the garage, Nix reaches for the handle of the car door—but hesitates. At least he’s not running away, even though Jamie would understand if he did. They have such a long way to go.
“If you think I’m strong enough, I think I can still do this. Do you think you can help me?”
He meets Jamie’s eyes, and when Jamie nods, he nods back. It’s a pact of sorts.
Jamie moves around the car to meet him, and Nix offers his hand. There’s a glimmer of trust again in the way he does it—confidence that Jamie willalways be there to grasp it and hold on tight. It’s not forgiveness. Jamie will have to earn that. But it is a start.
Nix had promised he would never leave him, that they had already won—and Jamie has to believe that to be true.
Chapter Six: Rowan
“Alright. Are you ready?”
Rowan looked over at his companion, who had remained silent the whole time they’d been together, so Rowan really hadn’t expected a reply. He got what he interpreted as a smile, though, and that helped calm his nerves.
Grayson had said that if he wanted to do something for Nix, he should think about something Nix had always wanted or really liked and do that. This hadn’t been his first thought. Not really. The first thing that had come to mind was obviously getting Nix something Rowan knew he liked already, but if Rowan was honest, the last time he’d given Nix a good dicking, it had gone sideways really fast.
He resists the urge to cross his legs—only really managing because the steering wheel is in his way.
The cock in question twitches at the memory, and his wolf vehemently points out that they should have at least given Nix the option.
Shut up. We are not doing that right now.
Later, maybe—if Nix was happy with this fucking surprise—and Rowan really hopes he is, because then there might be an opportunity for some surprise fucking.
It came to him in a dream. Hokey as fuck, he knows, and it’s not like he will ever tell anyone because…nope. Not listening to that for eternity.
Grayson may get off on the romantic shit, but Rowan wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the face. Which, to be fair, it had, that one time. Courtesy of a Grayson-original painting he hadn’t appreciated fast enough.
His efforts should be acknowledged, though, given the sheer number oftimes he holds his fucking tongue in this house—because it is mammoth.
Right. So, the dream.
The key to his success was stealth, and he’d charmed Gideon into loaning him his car (read kisses all over his face and puppy dog eyes), and Gideon had not been even a little suspicious. He’d just gazed upon Rowan’s handsome face for a few moments, awestruck, until he’d sighed and handed him the keys.
Rowan had secretly patted himself on the back when he’d dropped the subdued Gideon off in front of Quest. He’d seen his mate still standing forlornly in front of the restaurant, gazing after him in the rearview mirror—already lonely—and Rowan had stuck his arm out of the window to wave goodbye.
He’d narrowly missed that row of flower boxes, but Rowan could totally tell his mate appreciated his gesture.
See? Hecouldbe romantic.
He’d pulled into McDonald’s after that and grabbed a breakfast sandwich and hot coffee—sometimes a man just needed the elixir of life hotter than the Sun God’s balls.
While trying not to get sausage juice (snort) all over Gideon’s car and his phone, Rowan quickly figured out that Google was going to be useless for his search. So, he’d picked a direction and set off out of town, hoping inspiration would strike.
Out of character for sure, but he couldn’t shake the idea that he just had to drive.
