Crash had just proven that with one sentence.
I was ready to talk to Dante. To finally have an adult conversation about where we were headed, and to put the pettiness behind us. But with that also came some home truths. Dante had to understand that whilst I understood what the club meant to him, it wasn’t going to rule my life, or any relationship I had.
“Well,” I heard Doc say. “It ain't gonna look pretty, but you'll live.”
“Cheers, Doc.”
“That's what I'm here for. But in the future, can we stick to one man down a night? I'm getting too old for this shit,” he said, his voice getting closer. “In fact, here. Have this.”
“Where the fuck did you pull that from?” I heard Dante ask.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
“You’re not a real doctor,” Crash laughed.
“Yeah, but I want to stay away. Eat the apple. I’m going.”
I mentally shook myself, and put my mask back in place, reverting back to the blankness that Dante hated so much.
“Gentlemen,” I said as I entered the room just as Doc came to the doorway. I'd die if they knew I was spying.
“There she is,” Crash smiled widely at me. He gestured for me to come closer, and as I moved towards him, he took long strides in my direction, and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you for bringing him back to me.”
“Thank you for listening to me,” I said, raising my eyebrow at him when he pulled away.
“Rachel….” He sighed heavily. “It's not as easy as that.”
“It never is. At least I had Vienna.”
“Who I sent to you.”
“I would have liked to have a show of faith from the club leader. I'm not a stupid little girl, Crash. I know how these people think. They trust your judgement, and you dismissed me in front of all of them.”
“I know, Rachel. I appreciate you. I just—”
I just pursed my lips. I wasn't about to get into an argument with Dante's dad over something that didn't actually matter. “Iknow. Vienna explained. You’re still unsure over who you can trust.”
Dante was back where he belonged. That was the main thing.
“Can you please just trust me in the future? I’m a dickhead, but I’m not psychotic. I’ve no intention of placing a target on my back and pissing off a bunch of angry bikers.”
He smiled and nodded at me. “I'll leave you two be,” he said, closing the door behind him as he exited the room.
All the words that were on my lips died the instant we were alone. The silence that fell over us was deafening, and grew awkward in no time.
I looked at a spot on the carpet, not wanting to be the first one to show weakness and give in to the ever-growing tension.
The initial relief at him being safe had passed, and in its place was the memory of our last discussion - well, our last argument.
No doubt he was remembering how I was fooled by Macbeth. How I believed him capable of allowing rapists and child molesters into his club. Just as I was remembering how he threw in the towel and was ready to give up on us. Whatever we were, he didn't want it anymore. He had told me to leave with my mother.
I would have to face difficult questions. Why had I believed Macbeth, for starters?
In hindsight, I’m not so sure whether I believed him, or I was using him as my scapegoat to get the fuck out of here. I was still kidding myself that I was being held here against my will. Dante had been right when he said I was playing the martyr. We had come a long way since I ran away to my mothers. If I wanted to leave, all I would have needed to do was to say.
But I didn’t believe that at the time. I truly thought someone else’s house would be burnt to the ground, or worse. It’s not as if I had evidence on my side to help me trust in Dante’s words. It was his actions that led me to believe I wouldn’t be free to leave.
“Are you okay?” He asked, making me jump slightly as his loud voice filled the room.
