“But why is Vienna here?!” the doc all but shouted at us.
“No need to shout, doc, jeez,” I muttered. “He’s here because we kissed. We all agreed we should probably work through that.”
“You kissedhim?” She asked, her eyes widening with shock as she looked back and forth between Dante and Vienna. “That’s Vienna? Tell me, Rachel, was it the Gandalf beard that did it for you?”
“Oh, nice one, Doc,” Vienna snapped. “Real professional. I think we need to lay some ground rules here.”
“Right, but you’re not actually part of this therapy—”
“This beard is a work of art, and it should be respected as such. Dante, grab one of those notepads so we can write down the rules.”
“No.”
“Good lad. Rule number one—”
“Hair buddies should not grab ass?” Dante interjected.
“Well, yes, that goes without saying, and obviously I was going to get there in a minute.”
“I’d kind of like it said now.”
“Fine, fine, write it down,” Vienna waved him away. I caught the doctor's eyes and chuckled softly. “Rule number two! Are you writing these down, Dante?”
“No.”
“Excellent. Rule number two—”
“Vienna should shave?” I interrupted, earning me a scowl.
“Thou shalt respect the sacred beard at all times!” He near enough shouted, standing up on the chair and beating his chest with one hand.
“It’s a shit beard.”
“I’ve never liked it,” Dante agreed.
“It’s… unique,” Doctor Ashleigh grinned.
“Fuck you all,” Vienna hissed, sitting back down and slouching in the chair, sulk mode activated.
"You already tried that," I laughed, and then widened my eyes as I was met with the fierce, angry glares of the other three people in the room. “What? Oh, come on! That was funny!”
“Rule number one, Rachel!” he hissed, throwing a cushion at me. “See, Dante, I told you that you should have written them down. Hair buddies don’t grab ass! Hey Doc, did you know he made me get it tattooed on my ass?”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, he said I’d never forget… actually, do you wanna see?” Vienna asked, standing up and beginning to pull down his trousers.
“No, no!” she stammered. “That’s quite alright. I’m not even sure what that quote means.”
“Oh, well, it’s simple, really. Me and Rachel are hair buddies and—”
“Can we circle back to you, kissing Rachel? I feel like that’s the most important thing here.”
“I was getting to that part,” Vienna muttered, sitting back down.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll get to that in a minute,” Dante said, waving her away with his hand. “What’s really important here is the therapy worked, and it was my idea.”
I laughed and punched him on the arm.
