Dignity.
An hour later, Kitty’s breathing became shallow, her eyes struggling to stay open. I kept my arms wrapped around her, murmuring noises of comfort as her breath rattled and became laboured.
She had told me so many stories. We had laughed, we had cried, and we laid our grievances to rest, letting go of any grudges. Every story she told was accompanied by more and more of her pills being swallowed, and it wasn’t long before speech was impossible.
As I held her, I couldn’t help but notice how frail she was, how skinny her frame had become. She had deteriorated beforeour eyes, and none of us had noticed how sick she truly was. My stomach churned with guilt, but I reminded myself that this was what she wanted. She fought every offer of treatment, had refused every doctor’s visit. She wanted to pass on her own terms, in her own home.
“You’ve lived one hell of a life, Mrs King,” I told her, placing the tiniest of kisses against her temples.
“That I have,” she rasped, her eyelids fluttering. “Do you see him? Is my Crash here?”
“He’s here, Kitty,” I said, forcing back my sobs. “They’re all here. Crash, Macbeth, Zach… they’ve all come to guide you through the light. They’re here, and they’re telling you how much they love you. Can you hear them?”
“I can,” she said quietly, so quietly I wasn’t sure I heard her.
“It’s okay,” I whispered to her, holding her that little tighter. “You go to your boys. I’ll look after things here. You can go, Mama. There’s no need to fight it anymore. I’ll make sure your babies stay safe. All of them. Dante, Bee, Axel… the whole club. We’ll remember the woman you were. And what a hell of a woman that was! You were a force to be reckoned with, lady. But you can go. Let your soul find its mate. Be with your babies. Be at peace.”
“Thank… You…” she rasped, her chest heaving.
“Shh,” I murmured. “It’s okay. Can you feel Crash with you, Mama? He’s stroking your hair. He’s so proud of you. He loves you so, so much. He wants you to go with him.”
Her mouth fell open, her breath rattling through the small gap. I could feel her body struggling, tensing up with the effects of the pills. I didn’t know what else to do, so I gently reached into my back pocket and pulled up a video I had taken during Bee’s coming home party after the explosion that sent her to hospital. Keeping one arm around Mama’s shoulders, I skipped the videountil it was at the part where a drunken Crash was declaring his love for her, planting sloppy kisses all over her face.
A small smile played on her lips when she heard his voice. “I love you, Katherine,” he said on the video, making her squeal in delight when he lifted her in the air and spun her around.
“I love you,” she murmured, her lips barely moving.
“Go, Mama,” I said, no longer able to stop the tears. “Take Crash’s hand. Go be with your boys. They’ve missed you. You’re free to leave now.”
I held her as the last breath left her body, and then I held her close as I sobbed into her hair.
Chapter 76
Dante
“Anyone seen my old lady?” I called out when we arrived back at the clubhouse. Despite the nature of the ride, we were all in high spirits. We were celebrating the life of a brother and not mourning his loss. Shark had lived a life worth living, and that was worthy of a celebration, even though it hurt.
We had Jenna. We had the kid. We would keep his memory alive, and he would always be a part of this club.
“Anyone?” I asked, pulling off my helmet. “Where the fuck does that woman get to?”
“The kids are with Jenna,” Imogen told me, kissing her old man.
Why would she leave the kids with Jenna? The woman was grieving. Surely we should be taking her kid, not the other way around?
“She wanted them. Practically begged Heather to let her have some normalcy around her,” Imogen said as though she could read my thoughts.
“Heather? Why were the kids with Heather? Where’s Rachel then?” I asked, a strange feeling settling in my gut. Rachel hadn’tlet those kids out of her sight in days. Something must have happened to take priority over watching them like a Russian spy.
“Clubhouse probably. She knows there’s a party planned. Maybe she’s getting things ready. She told Jenna to bring the kids to the clubhouse when she was ready.”
“Fair enough,” I said, moving ahead of my brothers to enter the clubhouse. Hacksaw followed me, and I told him to get everyone settled in the bar as I ran into the house.
I was acting calm on the outside, not wanting to bring any further panic to the club, but inside I was filled with dread.
“Rachel?” I called, poking my head around the front room door. Nope. And neither was she in the kitchen. “Rachel?” I yelled, taking the stairs two at a time. The house was dark, not a single noise escaping any of the rooms. My heart began to pound, and I started pushing open the doors to all the rooms, my mind racing as I immediately thought the worst.
This was it. She’s gone.
