God knows she needed someone.
I took Bee back to the clubhouse, and it wasn’t long before she was napping on the sofa. Once I knew she was settled, I went to seek out the old ladies. I knew the majority of them were getting ready for the wake in the bar, so that’s where I headed.
However, as I exited the front room, my body collided with someone else’s, and two arms wrapped around me, their face sinking to my neck.
“Jenna,” I breathed, holding her tight.
“It’s not fucking fair. It’s so fucking unfair,” she sobbed, her hot tears hitting my skin.
“I know.”
“How can he be gone? How am I supposed to tell Trex that his daddy will never be coming home?”
How could I even begin to answer that? What did you say, when words were completely inadequate? How do you comfort someone when their entire world has been ripped away from them?
I was completely out of my depth, but I gave it my best shot.
“With endless patience and love. With kindness. With memories. Shark has gone, but you carry his memory with you. We all do.”
“Memories aren’t going to raise his son, though, are they?” She snapped, pulling away from me.
“No. But they will bring him comfort. And we’re all here to help you, Jenna. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“I want to do it withhim. We were supposed to be a team! We were supposed to raise our sontogether! He was going to take him fishing and teach him… teach… teach him how to…” her words failed her, and her body shook as waves of grief had her sobbing once more. I grabbed her in a fierce hug and wrapped my arms tight around her, feeling as though I was shielding her with my body, protecting her from the evil of the world.
“What do I do, Rachel? How do I make the hurt stop?”
“Time, baby. Time. That’s all you can do. One day at a time, and slowly, very, very slowly, the pain will lessen. One day, you will be able to look back at your time with Shark, and the memories will make you laugh. The pain will always be there, but you’ll learn to manage it. You’ll learn to feel other emotions when you think of him. You’ll learn how to navigate it. But it takes time. You have to be kind to yourself.”
“That’s what my mum said,” she replied, pulling back and wiping at her tears.
“Your mum is very wise,” I said, making a feeble attempt at a joke.
“I’m going to go and stay with her for a while.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Just for a while.”
So why didn’t I believe her? There was a finality in her tone.
“I can’t go back to that house, Rachel. I can’t live in that place surrounded by memories and regrets. I need a fresh start.”
A new wave of grief washed over me. But I kept it to myself. “You need to do what’s best for you, Jenna. You and Trex. The club is your home, and we will always be here for you. But we also understand why you need to get away.”
“Just for a little while,” she repeated, seeming to not realise she had said the wordsfresh start.
She wouldn’t be coming back here.
I was losing my best friend.
“Just for a little while,” I said and hugged her once more.
“Have you spoken to Mama?” she asked me when the embrace was over.
“No. She wasn’t at the funeral, was she?”
“I don’t think so. She should have been at the front with you.”
