Page 3 of Her Bear of a Duke
"I know what I am and am not capable of. You mustn't worry either, especially when we truly do have a pressing matter at hand."
"Please," Dorothy groaned, "might we discuss anything else? Anything at all? I cannot stand this."
"You must be prepared," Emma soothed. "And you must not worry. Everything will be all right in the end. I know that better than anyone."
"You were incredibly fortunate. I do not believe that I shall be afforded such a luxury."
"And when you think that way, you are already going into your marriage miserable. It will never work like that."
Dorothy wanted to believe her friends, wanted to hope that everything would be all right and she would be happy the same way Emma was, but it had never been something that was afforded to her. She was not fortunate like her friends; she did not have a sister that cared about her like Emma did, nor the ability to declare that she did not want to marry and have such declarations heard like Cecilia, nor did she have Beatrice's youth that meant her family were not yet pressuring her. She was risking spinsterhood, and her parents were not the sort to allow that. They would not accept a black mark on their family name a second time.
"We are not asking for you to be pleased," Beatrice said gently, "but do try to see the good in it. It might not be the perfect match you have dreamed of, but such a thing does not exist. Even Emma, as happy as she is, is not afraid to say that there will be issues."
"Precisely," Emma nodded. "A marriage requires work, and as long as you both are willing to do that all will be well, even if you do not know who he is yet."
"And what if he is unwilling?"
"Then you always have a home with us," Emma promised, though Dorothy knew she could never burden her friend in such a way.
Suddenly, she heard her parents approaching. Her father took her wrist, mumbling something about them needing a word. Her friends through her pitying glances, which Dorothy hoped her parents would not see beneath the masks.
"Is everything all right?" she asked, though she knew it couldn't be anything good.
"It appears your betrothed has changed his mind, and will not be attending tonight."
Dorothy struggled to hide her contentment with that. It meant she would not meet him until their wedding, but it at least gave her another night of freedom.
"I do not know why I expected anything more," her mother sighed, addressing her husband. "Why would a gentleman go out of his way to attend an event for her?"
"He had given us his word, so I do not know why he would do this, but it is through no fault of ours."
"Yes," Dorothy nodded, hoping to end her time with them sooner rather than later. "It is perhaps nobody's fault."
"No, I said it is not the fault of your mother and me. If you had been known as a better prize, then he would have come at any cost."
"But, Father, I–"
"No, Dorothy. What do you expect me to say? I attended this event and allowed you to come because it was for the betterment of your match. If you do not try harder, then what is it all for?"
Dorothy did not know how to make them see that she had no control over a gentleman attending a ball, as it did not matter what she said. Somehow, they would find a way to blame everything on her regardless.
Her mother looked at her with more pity, but she did not want it. It was her father that used cruel words, but it was not as though her mother ever even tried to defend her. She stood back and allowed it, and that hurt even more.
Her father stormed away, leaving Dorothy alone with her mother. The pity was still in her eyes, but she could not quite face her. Dorothy hoped that her mother felt guilty about what she was doing, though she was not so certain that it was the case.
"I know this is not what you want," she mumbled. "I know that you have always hoped to find a match for yourself. That is what I wanted for you. It is what your father wanted too, but you must understand that we have been left with no other choice. This is how it must be."
"Because of Eleanor?" she asked.
"Partly, but also because we must make our way in society. We have no heir, and with your sister gone it is vital that we have our affairs in order before anything should happen. You must be married, and you must help our family name. The Lord knows that your sister will never do that."
Her older sister Eleanor hardly ever spoke with them, but she always made an effort to assist with Dorothy's wardrobe. Their parents had allowed it, too, for Eleanor had made her own match and disappeared into the Scottish Highlands with her Baron years prior. They were not best pleased with her for choosing a man of such low rank, nor for causing the family such scandal by vanishing, but there was not much that could be done when she had already escaped to Gretna Green and then beyond.
"I need a moment," she whispered, and left the ballroom, and then the household altogether.
CHAPTER 2
Dorothy held herself together as she left, though she did not know how.
