Page 50 of Turret
“I don’t want you to go blind.”
His expression crumpled, the first sign of his faltering bravery. “Please don’t be distressed; I hate the thought I’m causing you pain.”
I was frustrated that my weakness had caused my faltering emotions to escape. I wanted to be strong so that I could help Quinn bear his burdens rather than allow my distress to add to them. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to be strong.” But it felt impossible with the impending darkness slowly overcoming the man I dearly loved.
“I’ll be alright.” His tone was so gentle, so reassuring.
My strangled sob escaped. “But you won’t. How can you be?” I’d been ill long enough to know that accepting my condition hadn’t taken away the difficulties of my trial.
“Because I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it, and although losing my sight will be an adjustment, it won’t take away what truly matters to me; not all happiness and beauty is seen.”
“Yet you’re still losing far too much.” My lip trembled as my fragile hold over my composure faltered. My unraveling emotions compelled Quinn to scoot closer and enfold me in his arms.
My breath hooked, and for a moment my tears ceased as I analyzed this rather cozy position, one I’d never experienced before, not when Quinn was all about distance; this wasn’t distance at all. I released a contented sigh and snuggled closer. He stiffened, as if just registering our position.
He started to pull away, but I tightened my hold around him to keep him close. “Stay with me, Quinn.”
He hesitated before relaxing against me and gathering me back in his arms. He rested his head against mine with a heavy sigh. “We shouldn’t—”
“Don’t say that. If you care for me as I care for you, then nothing about this is wrong.” I tipped my head back to stare up at him. “You love me?”
His expression softened. “I think I’ve always been in love with you.”
“You’ve only known me since I was ill. If my illness didn’t keep you from loving me, why do you think your condition will keep me from loving you?”
Longing filled his eyes as his thumb carefully stroked my jaw with a look as if he’d never tire of seeing me. “Because I fear loving me will take from you rather than give. My condition is a result of a curse, and you’ve had enough curses in your life.”
“I’ve also spent too much time trapped by my limitations, so please don’t create another prison for me.”
He sobered. “That’s the last last thing I want to do…hence I’m afraid what loving me will cost you. The price may not seem too high now, but what if one day it becomes too much? You deserve a wonderful life after being trapped for so long.”
It seemed impossible to imagine feeling trapped with Quinn, for no future had ever seemed so wondrous. But perhaps just as I’d needed time to imagine a life beyond the tower, he needed time to realize that a life with him was one I truly wanted.
I feared he’d eventually pull away, but he only continued to hold me, his gaze slowly tracing over my face. “I’ll never forget the way you look now. With everything I’ve seen, you’re still the most beautiful.” He dipped down and pressed his lips against my brow before releasing me.
I sighed. “For not having yet lost your sight you already behave as if you’re blind. Can’t you see how much joy your love gives me? I can still experience a beautiful life with you.”
I offered my hand. He took it and allowed me to lead him along the bank until we stood beneath the shade of one of the oaks growing beside the stream.
“Close your eyes,” I instructed.
He obeyed, and I gave his hand a gentle tug for him to follow me into the stream. My breath hitched as the cold water lapped at my ankles and quickly soaked the skirts. I paused beneath the tree.
“There’s a canopy of branches above us, their leaves the most lovely shades of ruby, orange, and gold. They float in the water around us in a sheen of color.”
I’d never been poetic, so I wasn’t sure whether my descriptions were adequate, but Quinn smiled. It grew when I took his hand and pulled it down to rest on the leaves floating beside us, allowing him to see them through touch in addition to my words.
“I can visualize it, Gemma.”
His expression grew pensive as he pulled his touch away from the leaves in order to stroke my hair before slowly lowering his hands to graze my neck and arms, exploring the position of my body with his touch before returning his hands to my face, his fingertips lingering to trace my smile.
His own reappeared. “I can visualize you.” His eyes fluttered open and brightened as his gaze caressed the features his fingers had just explored. “You’re even more beautiful than I just imagined, but I admittedly got quite close.”
Warmth swelled at his sweet words. “Close your eyes again.”
He obeyed. I tipped my head back to stare up at the sky. “Sunlight is shining through the branches to glisten across the stream in a waltz of golden light.” I took his hand again to lightly skim his touch across the water to each spot of sun.
“I can see it, Gemma.” He opened his eyes to meet mine. “This can still be beautiful for you?”
