“Why not, baby?”
“I… I don’t know if I can. It’s silly.”
“Nothing about you is silly,” I say, with patience hanging down on a thin thread.
She fidgets with the edge of her pallu. She opens her mouth and then closes it; hesitation swirls in her eyes, and she looks down again. I gently lift her chin, not letting her retreat. This habit—this looking down—it needs to go. She’s mine now. And I want her to walk with her head high.
“It’s just that… I have back rolls. And they’re not nice to look at,” she says quietly. I stare at her, lost for words. How cansomeone so breathtaking not see her own beauty? “It's stupid, I know.” She mumbles without letting me speak. Her whispers crack something in me.
“It is stupid, Shivani. Because trust me… you, including your back rolls, are incredibly pretty. And I never lie, Shivani. Especially not to you.” She stays silent, but there’s something in her eyes—a tiny flicker of acceptance.
“Now… twirl for me.”
She hesitates, but then slowly spins. When she faces me again, I cup her face gently.
“You’re very beautiful, Shivani. Every day. And especially today.” I bend slightly and press a kiss to her forehead.
“Can you hug me?” she asks in a small voice. That one sentence cracks something open in me. She sounds so vulnerable, like she’s barely holding it together. I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly. She melts into my arm, her hair smelling of sandalwood and jasmine. Her arms slipping around my torso as she leans into me. We stand like that for a while—no words, just warmth.
“Fifth time, by the way,” she says, her face still buried in my chest.
“What?” I ask, confused.
“You’ve called me beautiful five times now.” I chuckle. We both do. I like this.
15
SHIVANI
“I think you should change. I don’t want my bride to suffocate in that lehenga,” Rudraksh says as he pulls away from me. I let out a small laugh.
“It’s not that bad,” I say, even though it’s a lie. It’s horrible. It's heavy and itchy, and I can barely breathe in it. But I don’t want to seem whiny.
“You can change in the closet—you’ll need plenty of space. I’ll go change in my office.” Before I can argue, he places a finger gently on my lips and shakes his head. “Don’t. I wasn’t asking,” he says, his voice firm and steady.
I turn toward the closet, but before I can walk away, Rudraksh takes hold of my hand. I turn to face him, confused by the sudden gesture. “Can I take a picture of you?” he asks. I blink at him, caught off guard by his sudden request.
“Um… The photographer must’ve taken plenty. Why do you need my picture?” I ask hesitantly.
“I need one for myself. Those photos are for everyone—but this one, it’s just for me.” He pauses for a beat, then lets go of my hand.
“It’s okay. You can go change. Leave it.”
Just as he turns to leave, I find myself calling out, “Wait.”
He turns around, his eyes scanning me slowly from head to toe. I shy away under his gaze. “You can take a picture,” I whisper.
“No, not if it makes you uncomfortable—”
I cut him off, “It doesn’t. But… it’s just for you, okay? Please don’t show it to anyone else.” He nods and walks toward me, pulling out his phone from his pocket. I don’t know how to pose—I’m awkward in front of cameras—so I just stand there, smiling stiffly. He takes the picture, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looks at me.
“Now give me a twirl,” he says. I look at him, confused. “Just one video. No one else will ever see it. I promise.” There’s something in the way he’s looking at me that makes me believe—just for a moment—that I might actually be beautiful.Am I really?But then, my mother’s voice echoes in my mind, her words piercing my happiness and stealing my smile.
‘You shouldn't have eaten that cake.’
‘You look so fat.’
I ignore the words that send a chill to my spine and twirl for him with a small, hesitant smile. He’s trying so hard to make me feel comfortable. I can give him this much, at least.
