She returns to the room. “I feel we should continue thislater,” she says, her voice distant.
‘No, let’s finish this,’ I almost whine. I scan her face, her expression a mix of frustration and resignation. I can see more clearly now that she likes me too, and maybe it might just be physical attraction, but I will take whatever she offers me, because I am obsessed with her, all of her. There are things I do not know about her, but the more I know, the more I feel there’s a depth within her, and I want to drown in her. Every time we come a little close, something pulls us apart.
There’s this huge wall she has up around herself. It’s to protect her, I know, because I know she feels she’s not enough; she feels she has to prove herself to others, and so I understand the need for this fortress. I also know that I do not want to force my way in. I want her to let me in. I want to do things right. I know it won’t be easy, but I am not one to give up. I guess I get it from Mom. Like her, I am not a quitter.
Anya picks up the blanket and starts folding it. I want to shout out my feelings, to tell her how much she means to me, but her reaction is making it clear that this isn’t the right time. It isn’t just about the physical attraction; it is something deeper, something that I can’t ignore anymore.
I stand up, she doesn't even look at me. The room feels heavy with unspoken words. But I know that I have to wait for the right moment.
“I’m going to talk to you tomorrow,” I say softly, more to myself than to her. “When you’re calm. When we’re not flustered.”
∞∞∞
23
ANYA
“I have no idea why we have to attend this seminar.” Siya sighs. “I do not like to be mean, but Professor William doesn’t know what he is saying,” she adds.
Soph scoffs. “You are not being mean, babe. You are just stating facts,” she says.
“Yes. First of all, he is speaking so slowly, and his voice is sweet, so it is making me sleepy,” I say as a yawn escapes my mouth. “And secondly, he is just repeating what is written in the PPT. I mean, we could have read it on our own. At least, he could give us some real-life examples. This is so boring.” I sigh and put my head down.
“I took this seminar just so that I can get that PPT. It provides some important information related to my economics assignment,” Soph says, and I nod against the table.
This is torture, considering I couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night. All I could think about was Daniel. The almost kiss, the way the air crackled around us, the heat of his body so close to mine. My mind keeps replaying it over and over in my head. Every time I think about it, my heart rate spikes.
Normally, Daniel’s eyes are a bright, vibrantgreen, like a fresh, new leaf in spring. They are always full of intensity and focus, like he’s staring right through you, seeing something no one else can see. At least, I think so. But when we were face to face yesterday, when he was looking at me, his eyes roaming around my face, they darkened to almost black, like a forest at night.
I ended up watchingGirl in the Pictureon Netflix. It served its purpose, honestly. At first, I thought I should watch a Bollywood rom-com, but then I decided against romance as a genre itself. My purpose of watching anything was to distract myself from these thoughts, and crime documentaries do help, because I love to profile criminals. It is one of my hobbies. I have a whole notebook with details of all the documentaries or podcasts I have indulged in. People find it weird—honestly, I would too—but it helps me feel safe knowing I can make an educated guess on who can become a potential criminal, and I make sure to stay away from such people, which is very judgemental, but it is what it is. You gotta keep yourself safe.
“Alright, people, that is it for today,” Professor Williams announces, and the audience sighs together. I chuckle at us. We are all so similar yet so different. It’s funny and a very deep thought. It could easily keep me up till three in the morning if I start to think about it.
“Okay, I desperately need coffee,” I announce as we get up and grab our bags.
“Oh, how unpredictable,” Sophie exclaims. I roll my eyes, ignoring her comment, and walk ahead. I can hear Siya and Soph chuckle behind me, but I do not pay them any heed as I raise my middle finger.
I stomp ahead of them, stepping out of the classroom when a cup of coffee suddenly appears in front of me. My steps falter, and I frown at the unexpected gesture. “Wow, I wasn’t aware I had a coffee fairy?” I quip, looking up to findDaniel holding the cup with a small smirk.
“It’s for you,” he says, extending it closer.
My brows raise in surprise. “For me?”
He nods and I avert my gaze. Why does he have to make it so hard for me? I sigh and quickly grab the cup and take a sip.Yup, this is heaven.I have to avoid him but I guess he knows what buttons to push. “It’s true what they say—a coffee a day, keeps grumpy away,” I mutter, more to myself than him.
Daniel chuckles. “Good to know, I’m doing a public service then.”
Just when I thought I could get through my day without thinking about him, he appears in front of me with a cup of coffee in hand. I can feel my irritation growing. I have no idea how he manages to know and emerge with my coffee at the right time.
“Hi,” he says gently. Why does he have to be so beautiful? I want to cry.Dammit.
“Hi,” I whisper back. His smile widens, and my heart skips a beat.
“Hi, Daniel!” Sophie exclaims from behind me.
“Hey,” Daniel says, I freeze, suddenly hyperaware of Sophie’s amused grin beside me. She nudges my arm gently, a knowing look in her eyes. I shoot her a warning glare, silently begging her to behave.
“We’ll wait for you,” Siya says, shaking her head at us. She’s so done with us. She’s the mother and the child of the group, if that even makes sense.
