“Are you.” There’s no question in the statement, but Teo answers anyway.
“As much as I’m able.”
Axton ignores his response, turning to Kyla. “The bracelets? And, as a courtesy, her blade as well. For safekeeping, of course. We should have taken it before, come to think of it.” There’s a censure in his tone, which she acknowledges with a brief inclination of her head before approaching me.
“Binder, your things.” There is no apology flavoring the demand; Kylabet obviously doesn’t disagree with her brother on this, or, if she does, perhaps she’s simply wise enough to hide it.
Sighing heavily to cover my worry, I start untying my vertebracelets. I haven’t removed them since I’ve been with the People of the Blood, so when I try to take them off, they almost peel away from me, the scars of smooth skin they leave behind nearly shimmering in the morning sun. Kyla stares down at them, at the way the bones pull from my forearms, at the grooves that whisper my secrets to her, telling the tale of how long they’ve been a part of me. Questions fillher mouth but she swallows them back, simply holding out a small leather bag for me to drop my bracelets in.
“The earrings,” she prompts quietly once my bracers are off. “And the hair…I don’t know what you call them.” It takes several minutes to divest myself of the sesamoids curving on my ears, to untangle the knuckles and carpals from my braids. When I’m done, my hair is wild around my head, loose and unbound, the rising morning wind twisting and knotting it. Axton is watching us with a strange, almost hungry expression from the far side of the small clearing just on the edge of the trees.
“Is that all of it?” she asks, and I nod; I’m not sure if he can taste deception in actions or if it’s only words, so it seems safest to not speak.
“Is it?” he calls, and I nod again. “A verbal answer, Binder.”
Ah,I think, and bite out,“Yes!”, trying to be firm. His face twists, and he spits to the side.
“Lies.”
Kyla looks back at him, then turns to me again, considering, before her expression clears. “Your blade,” she demands.
“I—” Almost panicked trepidation consumes me. I may not like the Guiding Knife, the way it absorbs my blood, the way it is curiously Silent and yetnot…to be without it….
“Your blade.” Kyla interrupts my thoughts, distracting me from the feeling of coming dread that creeps along the hairs on my skin like spider’s legs. Every part of me is shivering with a phantom fear, vague and nebulous, but insistent and unrelenting. Seeing my clear reluctance, she drops her voice, almost mouths her next words. “It’s either going to me or to him, and I have given you a blood oath.”
“Kylabet?” Axton is impatient, and his terseness becomes hers as she shakes the bag in front of me.
“Now, Binder. There is no choice for you here.”
“I wouldn’t let the blade cut you, Flank Commander,” I can’t help but caution, pulling up my tunic and wrapping my fingers around its exposed hilt. Her eyes flare wide in surprise and alarm before she narrows them, cocking her head.
“Is that a threat?” she asks quietly, and I shake my head immediately.
“No. It’s a warning.” The knife fights against being loosed from my belt, dragging along my skin, cutting a deep line which instantly wells with blood, covering the exposed edge.
“A warningyoushould take for yourself, apparently.”
I sigh. “As you said, Commander, there is no choice for me here.” Yanking the blade firmly from me, I try to hide the tremor in my hands when it pulses almost angrily in my fingers, the way the bones of its handle bite into my skin, sticking like hooked needles. I have to grab the jagged blade to tear it from me; my hands are a bloody mess by the time I drop it into her waiting sack.
Axton snorts derisively, shaking his head. “Perhaps we should have left you your rough little dagger. You’re so incompetent with it, it does you more harm than good. Kyla? Come.” Turning, he disappears into the darkness of the trees. Kylabet doesn’t follow him immediately, despite his clear demand, just stands and studies my shaking, dripping hands.
When she finally speaks, she is, if not fearful, at least apprehensive, and it gives me some hope that she’ll take my words to heart. “I will keep it as safe as I am able, Binder. I cannot say the same for you. Promises made are not always promises kept, and if Axton commands me, I would have to go against any oath, blood-bound or not. I suspect that you have made choices which have changed your path, and thus mine. But perhaps the…lesson in stones…is enough for you. Forbothof you,” she adds, now directing her words to Teo, who is curiously silent behind me. His emptiness ignites something in her to action; dropping all pretense of being uninvolved, she steps forward, pushing past me, and takes his hands.
“I know, my friend, Iknowyou have lost something irreplaceable — we both have.” Voice vibrating with barely suppressed emotion, she glances at me, then back at his blank face. “But there are fields we cannot thresh, crops we cannot grow. He willneverforgive you if you have done…if what hethinksyou have done…” She reaches a hand up to rest on his cheek; he does not respond. Her voice is low, so quiet it isbarely sound. “Teo.Please.You are breathing. You are moving. Time will heal this loss, though it seems insurmountable. I had no true family but you and Ellie, and now just you. Ineedyou here. She isgone. You need tolether be gone. Grieve, seek comfort in safe meadows, take time to ease your heart. I am on your side, as much as I’m able to be. But there are things that cannot be condoned, even here, far from the Elders’ eyes. One of these choicesalonewould be a death sentence, and you…you seem to be chasing down nails for your coffin, rather than avoiding the open grave.”
Teo reaches up and removes her hand from his face. Even though he is gentle about it, I can tell it hurts her. She folds back into herself, her face settling into a well-worn masque. “You can’t understand, Bet. You willneverunderstand. There are things more important to me than duty; you have too much of your brother in you to fully know the depths to which the soul descends when all light is snuffed and there is only darkness left.”
“I loved her as well, Teo. She was a sister to me.”
He stares at her, no emotion lighting his expression, and lifts a single shoulder. “You did. In your way you did. But we all have hard truths we must face. If it came to it, in the moment, you would raise your sword for Axton rather than your shield for Ellie. And that is the difference between us. I don’t blame you for it, don’t hold it against you. You were a good friend to her in the ways you were able to be. But no, you don’t understand me. Not anymore. If you ever did. Because thinking that time will heal this?” He shakes his head, unable to continue.
“And this one?” She turns her head to glare at me, but I have no part in this, and keep silent. “This one does?”
“I don’t know, Bet. But she did more for us, and with less reason. She gave us a gift of time that I’ll never be able to pay back, though I can’t fathom why. And she knows loss, knows it well enough that it is as natural to her as breathing.” Kylabet is desperately trying to maintain her composure, but is obviously close to breaking, the strain of the last week or more wearing on her.
“Iknow loss, Teo.” Anger sharpens her tone, truth heavy in every syllable, and he bends his head in acknowledgement.
“You do, Bet. I’m sorry. You do. I don’t mean to disparage you. Just not the sort that rips you from your tethers, that takes you from your very home and casts you out.” Something flickers in his expression, a sort of thoughtfulness that is almost scary in its lightning quick flash. Kyla and I both see it, but it sparks hope in her, rather than fear.
