Page 65 of Finding Yesterday
“Yes you can.” He’s having a panic attack, and I just have to talk him through it like he did for me. “Just take slow, deep breaths with me, okay? You’re going to be just fine.”
He nods, and I lift my arms in a yoga breathing exercise I’ve done many times for Emma. The next step is getting him distracted with something else, so I point up and say, “Look at how many stars are out tonight.”
He gazes up. “Wow. I can’t believe how many there are.” His voice is hoarse.
“You don’t get to see them in the big city. I missed that.”
“I didn’t know that I missed that, but now that you point it out, so do I.” His breath is evening out, and when he meets my gaze, his eyes have a little more life in them.
I can’t help myself. I step over and give him a hug. He pulls me in tight, and I can feel the slightest tremble in his body, his skin like ice.
He relaxes in my arms, his muscles unwinding. I love being the one to make him feel better.
Why can’t he just stay?
He finally pulls away, mumbling, “Thank you. I needed that.”
“Me too.” Seeing his face is a punch to the gut. His eyes are haunted, lost, and it’s hard for me not to look away. Something is very wrong and very buried—deep in the darkest corners of his mind. And is it related to his fear of enclosed spaces? “Why are you claustrophobic?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I wish I knew, Claire.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, even though sorry isn’t even close to being enough.
“Can we go?” he rasps. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Of course.”
We walk back, arm in arm, and he asks, “How did you know how to distract me back there?”
I hesitate, not sure I want to tell Jack something personal about my sister. But then I decide to tell him because it’s Jack. Jack keeps secrets and doesn’t judge people. “My sister, Emma, used to have panic attacks a lot.”
“She’s lucky to have you.”
I’d never really thought about it that way, but it’s nice to hear. My voice is light and teasing when I reply, “You should tell Emma that.”
Jack stops walking and turns to me. “Anyone would be lucky to have you, Claire.”
You could have me, Jack.
“Thank you. Truly.” My eyes roam his face as I take in his kind words. In the dusk light, he’s stunning, just as always. But right now, it’s as though I’m seeing beyond his outwardly features. As I’ve slowly peeled each of his layers away, one by one, the more of Jack’s soul shines through. He’s a picture of muscle and strength, but it’s his vulnerability and kindness that are far more striking.
The thought makes me that more shredded that Jack has to leave, back to his full life on the other side of the country in four days.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I SPENT THElast couple of nights Googling the cabinet knob. I didn’t find anything like it, but I did learn it’s made from the kind of rubies that were in that mine. It was likely made by the miners…but for what? To go where I’m not sure, or how it ended up back in the mine.
After my research, I ended up with more questions than answers, which seems to be the case more and more these days. I need a break from the whole mine thing for a bit.
Now I’m yawning, drinking coffee as I try to keep going, working in The Fine Bone kitchen after the light dinner rush. It’s just Jack and me, as it’s a slow night and the other cooks have the day off.
“No falling asleep on the job, Cole.” Jack doesn’t look up from the steaks he’s slicing.
“Can we turn on some music or something?” I blink. “I need an extra kick.”
“Who needs music when you’ve got me?” This time he looks up from the steak with a grin.
“You know in my family, people sing and play, no music required.” I sigh. “That’s not a joke.”
