Page 30 of Finance Bros
See what, exactly?“Wait,” I say. “What are you guys talking about?”
Ryan sighs heavily. “She wants you and the dog to give financial advice on TikTok. Shirtless.”
I laugh awkwardly. “No, she doesn’t.” I look at Bailey.
“The dog kinda seals it. I can write the content. All you have to do is say it and post it.”
Hold on.“Did you call me uptight?” I ask Ryan, still stuck on that, and just generally not keeping up with their apparent mind meld.
“Yes.” He looks at me directly. Well, me and Stephanie. “I said you’re not interesting enough to pull together a big following in a hurry. Maybe if we had six months?—”
“Excuse me? First, I’m uptight, and now I’m not interesting? Why don’t you takeyourshirt off?”
His face goes red so fast, it’s like someone threw paint on it. “She’s not my dog, bro.”
My rage flares at the “bro.” “She’s notmy dogeither.”
“Tellherthat.”
“Boys…” I hear Kaylin say from the living room couch. Her tone is motherly with a note of warning.
“Maybe he’s insecure about his body,” Bailey says to Ryan. “Do you have a dog?”
“I’ve got?—”
“I’m notinsecure,” I argue, cutting him off, then to Bailey I say, “You love this, don’t you? Objectifying a guy?”
“Kinda, yeah. Look, you’re not my type, but you’ve got a good tan. I assume there’s a set of muscles under there.” She waves a hand vaguely at my shirt. “We’d need a great handle,” she says, like this is the idea, and we’re running with it.
“He can’t do it,” Ryan insists.
“Why do you keep saying that?” I ask, growing more offended by the second.
“Because you’d have to remove the rod from your ass first.”
Never in my life have I been accused?—
“At least I don’t let people put?—”
“Hey!” Kaylin’s voice rings out sharply, and suddenly she’s behind me, taking the dog away and flicking my earlobe. I shut my mouth.
Bailey leans forward. “Are you guys beefing?”
Why do people keep asking that?
“They used to be stepbrothers,” Kaylin says, telling my business to a total stranger.
“No shit?” Bailey eyes us both. “That explains the lack of manners. It doesn’t explain why you don’t think he can pull off a TikTok video without even giving him an audition.” She aims this last part at Ryan.
He’s still glaring ominously at me, knowing exactly what I’d been about to say. I’m so fucking glad Kaylin stopped me, grateful all over again that she stayed after I told her I needed a break. I donotdeserve her.
“Fine,” Ryan says to Bailey, sliding his attention to his laptop screen. “Give him something to say and see how it goes.”
“I didn’t agree to this,” I tell him specifically.
“You’ll probably suck at it anyway, so I understand why you wouldn’t want to, golden boy.”
Low fucking blow.
