Page 75 of Cage's Fall
“I know ya hurting darling,” he whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek. “But I didn’t go willingly. I fought Autumn, but it was hand the patch in, or end up in a body bag.”
I broke, my hands clenching his shirt. As I shook in tears. Didn’t he get it, that my breathing depended on him being around?
“I can’t…. I can’t be without you.” All this time this was exactly what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be attached to him. I didn’t want to love him. I didn’t want this dependence. Yet here I was, shaking in his arms, crying because I was going to lose him.
I don’t know how long we stayed there, him hugging me, while I broke down and gave him more reasons to leave.
In the end, I fell asleep on his bed, and woke up to a room, with no brown boxes.
Chapter Forty
HAWK
Two Weeks Later
“We can’t keep fucking lying to her,” Jacob hissed at me, he was drunk and pissed off. “If she finds out from someone else-”
“Stop it Jacob, she won’t be finding out shit. She’s basically wiped her hands of the club apart from the gym.”
“Yeah cause she is running her own operation through it,” he scoffed. “I’m telling you,” he pointed his beer at me,“When the Severed Sons come knocking, Cage will be the one severing our heads for putting her through this,” he scoffed again. “If he hears how sick she is—”
“Stop it!” I roared at him. “Autumn will get through this. I don’t need a reject of an Enforcer to be the one to fix my family.”
Jacob rose to his feet. “When are you gonna see it! She ain’t your family. She’s mine. You,” he shoved me on the chest, “killed our father. Killed our mother. And then, when she just finally let someone in you fucking destroyed it!” Jacob was basically foaming at the mouth now, furious with me. We had this argument over and over.
Jacob was positive that Cage being back with his family, could be our undoing. Severed Sons was Cage’s family club.
Jacob spat at my foot and gave me a glare before walking off. I was beginning to think that his drinking was becoming a real problem. Couldn’t have him spitting facts like that freely.
Autumn would get through this. She had been through the loss of her parents. She could over a goddamn man.
I looked at the time, I needed to check on her.
Autumn
They say that depression lifts. That the sun will come out tomorrow. That feelings pass. That life moves on. That you will one day smile again.
All of this, I knew. But as I looked at the razor. I couldn’t think of one reason not to act.
Hawk was distant. Even though I should hate him. I didn’t. Cause in the end, I was bad news for Cage. How could I expect a man of strength, like Cage, to be with a woman who can’t even stop from hurting herself? A woman who just feels darkness.
I blinked, as tears ran down my cheeks. It was numbing, crippling, and as I stared at the razor, my inner wisdom told me it wasn’t the answer. Yet, I picked it up anyway.
Not because I wanted him back. Not for attention. Not to punish anyone. There was one simple reason why my hand ran that razor down my wrist.
Because I couldn’t do it anymore.
I don’t know how long I sat on the bathroom floorfor, but I was going in and out of consciousness, one moment by myself, the next, against Hawk’s chest. Another blink of the eyes, and Jacob was standing there demanding for me tohold on.I blinked again, now in an ambulance, Jacob squeezing my hand. Hawk so pale.
If I could have spoken, I would have said, please let me go.
But my eyes got too heavy, and this time, they didn’t reopen; part of me thought I had gotten my wish for them to let me go.