I glance past him, taking in the view. The ocean stretches out in the distance, the moonlight dancing across the water, casting a soft silver glow over everything.
It's breathtaking, just like it's always been.
Then, hesitantly, I take his hand, letting him guide me out onto the roof.
We settle down, side by side, the cool night air wrapping around us as the sound of waves fills the silence.
Jaxon exhales, leaning back on his hands. "I used to come up here all the time when I couldn't sleep, even when you weren't here."
I glance at him, my heart still racing. "Did it help?"
He smirks, tilting his head toward me. "You tell me."
I turn back toward the ocean, my breath catching as I take it all in. The sky is endless, the stars scattered like dust, the waves rolling in steady, calming.
I do feel calmer, and maybe it's not just the view.
Maybe it's him.
I pull my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top, voice softer now. "I think it does."
Jaxon shifts, draping an arm around me, pulling me closer. I settle into him, the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my cheek, and exhale.
I finally feel like I can breathe.
Jaxon's body is warm against mine, the kind of touch thatdoesn't just ground me—it settles me, like his presence alone is enough to quiet the noise in my head.
The sound of the ocean fills the silence between us, waves rolling in and out, rhythmic and constant. The moon casts a soft glow over everything, making the world feel smaller, quieter.
I close my eyes for a second, listening, letting it all sink in. I shift, resting my cheek against his shoulder. "What kept you up?"
His fingers absentmindedly trace slow circles against my arm where it rests against his stomach. He's quiet for a long moment, and I don't push him.
Finally, he sighs.
"A lot of things," he admits. "Football. The draft. If I was doing enough, if I was being enough." He pauses, then huffs out a quiet chuckle. "And, if I'm being honest…you."
My breath catches, my pulse stuttering. I turn my head slightly, looking up at him, but he's still staring out at the water. "Me?"
Jaxon exhales, rubbing a hand over his jaw. "Yeah, Mads. You."
I swallow, suddenly hyper aware of everything—the way his fingers tighten slightly on my arm, the way his heartbeat isn't as steady as I thought it was.
He turns then, looking down at me, his gaze softer now. "I spent so many nights up here wondering if you were okay. If you were happy. If you ever thought about calling me the way I wanted to call you."
My throat closes. "I thought about it," I whisper, surprising myself with the admission. "All the time, actually. I think I did one night. I must’ve hung up before you could answer.”
Jaxon shifts to face me better, confusion clouding his features. "Why didn't you try again?"
I stare out at the ocean, gathering courage. "Because I was scared. I'd convinced myself you were better off without me in your life, less likely to get hurt."
"Madison." There's a gentle firmness in his voice that makes me look at him. "That was never true. Not for a single day."
I blink back the sudden sting in my eyes. "You don't understand, Jax. I was a mess. I still am. There are days when I can barely get out of bed, when everything feels too much and not enough at the same time." The words tumble out faster now. "And you—you've always been so sure, so steady. You deserve someone who isn't...broken."
Jaxon's expression changes, something fierce flashing in his eyes. "Don't say that. Don't ever say that."
"What? That I'm broken? We both know?—"
