The thoughts in my head get louder with every step.You'll ruin him. You'll run when things get hard. You always do. You ran from him once, you'll do it again.
Because if I give in—if I let myself believe, even for a second, that someone like Jaxon Montgomery could be safe for someone like me—then I'll only end up hurting him.
And I refuse to do that.
"Okay, what the hell is going on with you?"
Lyla's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I glance over to find her watching me like she's been waiting for me to crack.
I school my expression into something neutral. "Nothing."
She scoffs. "Bullshit. You've been weird all morning, and don't think I didn't notice you've been avoiding all the places where you might run into Jaxon."
I roll my eyes. "I have not?—"
She raises a hand. "Don't even try it. I'm not Carter, okay? You can't just deflect and pretend like you're not actively dodging him."
I sigh, tugging the sleeves of my sweatshirt over my hands as we step inside the coffee shop. The smell of espresso and fresh pastries fills the air, warm and inviting, but it does nothing to ease the knot in my stomach.
"I'm not avoiding him," I say, even though we both know I am. "I just?—"
"Just what?" Lyla presses, arms crossing.
I bite my lip, my throat tight. "I can't let this happen, Lyla." My voice is quieter now, edged with something raw. "I can't—" I exhale sharply. "He doesn't get it. He thinks I'm someone I'm not."
Her expression softens. "Maddy…"
"He’ll leave," I whisper. "I always lose the ones I care about. They all leave."
Lyla shakes her head. "That's not true."
I let out a humorless laugh. "Isn't it?"
“No, it’s not. I haven’t left you, and I don’t plan to,” she says, grabbing a seat at our usual table. “You’ve made my life a lot more fun, if I’m being honest. I quite enjoy your company.”
“That’s different, Ly.” The words feel hollow even as I say them. The truth is, I'm terrified. Terrified of how Jaxon makes me feel. Terrified of how easily he slips past my defenses. Terrified of wanting something—someone—so badly, losing them would break me all over again.
I sit down across from her, but before she can respond, someone slides into the seat beside me, their presence pressing close enough to make me jump.
"Morning, Blakey baby."
I turn, groaning when I see a very perky blond grinning at me like he knows every single thought running through my head. Carter, my irritating but ultimately well-meaning friend, who's been trying to play matchmaker since the moment he realized there was history between Jaxon and me.
"Seriously?" I mutter, grabbing my coffee from the counter as I sink further into my sweatshirt.
Carter chuckles, his grin widening. "Relax. Just keeping you company while you stress about my boy."
I shoot him a glare. "I'm not stressing about Jaxon."
"Sure you aren't. Firstly, I never said his name, but you just did." He smirks, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest in that casual way only platonic friends can pull off. "You do realize he's not gonna let you avoid him forever, right?"
I open my mouth to argue, but before I can, the air shifts.
A familiar presence steps into the coffee shop, and I feel it before I even look.
But I do look.
There he is.
