She’s everywhere.Every time I walk onto campus, every time Ipass a place we used to sit together, every time I breathe—it’s just Madison.
The way she used to pull her sleeves over her hands when she was cold. The way her forehead would crease when she was concentrating on something too hard. The way she’d tuck her feet under my thigh on the couch like she belonged there, like we were always meant to fit that way.
And the way she looked at me the last time I saw her—like she was already mourning something that wasn’t even gone yet.
But it is now.
She is.
And I’m so fucking miserable without her.
I sigh, rubbing a hand down my face, staring at the half-filled page in front of me.
I was supposed to be studying for my last final, but I’ve been sitting in the library for over an hour, and I haven’t written down a single useful thing. My head is pounding, my stomach feels like it’s tied in knots, and all I can think about is how Madison is probably off somewhere right now, doing exactly what I am—pretending to be fine when we both know we’re not.
Except the difference is, she’s better at pretending than I am.
I snap my textbook shut, tossing my pen onto the table before standing. I’m done. It’s not like another hour staring at these notes is going to help me anyway.
Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and head toward the exit, pushing through the heavy doors and stepping out into the crisp spring air. The second the sun hits my face, I inhale deeply, trying to clear my mind, but it doesn’t work.
Nothing fucking works.
I check my phone—no messages. I don’t even know why I look. Madison hasn’t reached out since that night, since I told her I wouldn’t chase her anymore.
The thought makes my jaw clench as I shove my phone back in my pocket and start walking toward my last midterm of the semester.
I should be relieved it’s almost spring break. I won’t have to fake my way through any more classes, won’t have to sit in the back of lectures trying to avoid looking at the seat she used to take next to me. But all it does is remind me I have nothing else to distract me.
That for the next week, it’s just me and my own damn thoughts.
And Madison?
She’s still not mine, and I’m starting to think she never will be.
My test is a blur.
I put my name on the paper, answered every question the best I could, and turned it in without a second glance. Whether I passed or failed, I honestly don’t care.
Because none of it matters when my head still isn’t here, when I’m still stuck somewhere between missing her and knowing I have to move forward.
By the time I get back to the football house, my body is drained, exhaustion pressing down on my shoulders. I push open the door, letting it slam shut behind me as I drop my bag near the entrance. The place is quiet, the rest of the guys either still at their last exams or already checked out for spring break.
I head straight for the kitchen, tugging the fridge open and grabbing a cold water bottle. The crack of the seal echoes in the silence as I twist off the cap and take a long drink, letting the cold liquid settle in my stomach.
I hear footsteps and turn to see Carter step into the kitchen, running a hand through his already messy hair before plopping down onto one of the barstools at the counter. He studies me for a second, then raises a brow.
"How’d finals go?"
I shrug, leaning against the fridge. "Fine."
He snorts. "Fine, huh? You say that like you even remember what the hell was on the test."
I let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah.”
Carter shakes his head, watching me a little too closely. "You good, man?"
I roll my shoulders back, forcing a smirk. "Why wouldn’t I be?"
