Silence stretches between us, thick with everything unspoken.When I finally gather the courage to lift my eyes, his expression has softened into something heavier than anger—a mix of exhaustion and tenderness that unravels something inside me.
"I keep waiting for you to realize I’m not going anywhere, Mads." He takes a step closer, close enough that I can see the flecks of amber in his eyes catching the glow of the streetlight.
"I’m not leaving you, Madison," he says, his voice rough and full of conviction. "But I can’t keep chasing someone who’s determined to outrun me."
His words land like a punch to the gut. Heavy. Unshakable.
I know, deep down, he’s right.
"I don’t know how to stop," I whisper, the confession barely making it past my lips. "Running is the only thing I’ve ever been good at."
Something shifts in his expression—a slight softening around his eyes, a subtle change in his stance. Then, slowly, like he’s approaching something fragile, he reaches out.
His fingers brush mine, warm against the cold seeping into my skin, and I don’t pull away.
He brings me closer, pressing his forehead to mine.
"There’s something I need from you." His breath is warm against my face, his body trembling just slightly. "I need you to really think and be honest with yourself, about whether this is what you want, whether you're ready to take the risk of being with me completely. I can’t be the only one laying my heart on the line, Mads. I just can’t."
His voice cracks, and he inhales deeply, taking a moment to collect himself before he continues.
"Because loving you—" he swallows, eyes closing briefly, "loving you is the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done."
Jaxon exhales, his fingers brushing against mine again before he pulls back, his warmth leaving a stark contrast against the cold air wrapping around us. He watches me, his expression unreadable, but his eyes…
His eyes say everything.
Everything I don’t know how to handle.
Everything I don’t know how to deserve.
"I’ll wait," he says, his voice steady, but there’s a quiet finality to it that makes my breath catch. "I’ll give you the space you need, Mads, if that’s what it takes for you to figure out what you want."
My stomach twists.
"But I can’t keep chasing you." His voice dips, raw and honest. "I can’t keep running after someone who won’t let me catch them."
His words feel like a weight pressing down on my chest, making it impossible to breathe. I want to tell him that’s not what I meant. I’m not trying to make him chase me, I just?—
I’m scared.
But he already knows that.
He’s always known that.
Jaxon shakes his head slightly, letting out a quiet, humorless chuckle, his breath visible in the cold night air. "You have to make the first move, Mads. I can’t be the only one fighting for this."
My throat tightens, but I can’t force any words out.
Because what can I even say? That I don’t want him to stop chasing me? That I’ve spent my whole life believing love is a temporary thing, that people always leave, and maybe I was just trying to leave before he could?
That, deep down, I know he’s right?
I shake my head. “I don’t know…”
Jaxon swallows hard before pressing a kiss to my forehead then takes a step back, like he’s physically making himself create space between us. His jaw is tight, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, like there’s more he wants to say, more he could say.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he just nods once. Softly—so softly, it almost gets lost in the space between us—"If you don’t know, Madison. Then you have to let me go so I can let you go.”
