The moment I step inside and turn on the shower, the smell of the hotel shampoo hits me—lavender.
Madison’s signature scent.
I freeze, my jaw locking so tight, I feel the ache all the way to my temples.
My fingers curl into fists at my sides.
I try not to think about the way her hair smelled when she was curled up against my chest, the way she would hum softly when I ran my fingers through it, the way she used to tuck herself against me like she belonged there.
When she belonged to me.
But my mind doesn’t give a shit what I want, because, suddenly, I can see her: laughing, looking up at me with those damn hazel eyes, her nose scrunching the way it does when she’s trying not to smile.
I clench my teeth hard, shaking my head.
She’s not yours anymore, Montgomery.
I take a step forward and slam my fist into the shower wall. The pain shoots up my arm, sharp and immediate, but I welcome it. It gives my mind something else to focus on.
I press my forehead against the cool tile before turning, my chest heaving, my breath coming in sharp, ragged bursts.
I feel like I’m drowning in the loss of her. Maybe I am.
Slowly, I slide down, the water pounding against me as I sit on the ground, my hands bracing against my knees.
I need to let this go. I have to.
Even for just a few hours, I need to shove it down, push it aside, and get my head in the game.
For my team.
For myself.
I take one last, deep breath, then force myself to stand.
Time to move.
I sit on the bench, my jersey hanging loose around my shoulders, rolling my wrists as I work through the last bit of tape.
Carter plops down next to me, watching me with narrowed eyes. "You good?"
I don’t answer right away.
Because no.
I’m not good.
But I force myself to nod. "Yeah. I’m locked in."
Carter doesn’t look convinced, but he nods anyway. "Good. Because we need you, man."
Before I can say anything, Logan steps in front of us. I glance up, my jaw already tightening. He looks uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Look, man," he says, sighing. "I was an asshole. I ran my mouth when I shouldn’t have, and I didn’t think about the consequences. I didn’t mean to cause you problems, and I regret the way I went about things."
I stare at him for a long moment.
"Little too late to be sorry now, don’t you think?"
