I shove aside the idea before it can take root, before I’m reminded how much easier it was when I could convince myself I didn't care.
Tonight is supposed to be a distraction, a few hours of noise and bodies and forced smiles. A night to stand next to Lyla, nodding along as she flirts, pretending like I don't feel like an imposter in my own skin.
But even as we step out the door, even as I steel myself for the chaos ahead, I already know?—
There's only one set of brown eyes I'll be looking for in that crowd.
And I hate myself for it.
4
JAXON
Bass thumps through the floorboards as I make my way down the crowded hallway, red cup in hand, though it's filled with water. It's only the first week of classes, but the party scene already seems to be in full swing.
I spot my teammate Carter by the keg and head over. "What's up, man?" I greet him with a fist bump.
"Jax! Glad you made it." Carter flashes me a cocky grin. "Some fine ladies here tonight."
I nod, scanning the room. It’s not that I don't agree. The room is full of women who I’m sure are amazing, but it doesn't matter. None of them hold a single bit of interest for me. There's only one girl on this planet who has ever had my attention, even if she refuses to acknowledge it.
That's when I see her, standing near the entrance with a redhead who looks a lot like Coach Harding’s daughter, looking uncomfortable as she fidgets with the hem of her shirt. She leans in, saying something that makes Madison roll her eyes, but there's a hint of a smile playing at her lips.
Madison's gaze pulls to mine, as if a magnet is attached to each of us. Our eyes lock for a brief moment, my heart rate immediately picking up before she quickly looks in the other direction. I shoulddo the same—shouldn’t make it obvious I’m staring—but I can’t seem to tear my eyes away.
Fuck, she's gorgeous, even when she's not in her element. Her jeans hug her in all the right places, her oversized t-shirt cropped and the neck cut out, hanging off her right shoulder, showing nothing but sun kissed, smooth skin underneath. I know what the other shoulder looks like, and I think it’s just as stunning as the rest of her.
"You into Maddy?" Carter's voice snaps me back to reality. "I wouldn't bother if I were you. She's blocked off and locked down tight. Took me weeks to even get her to talk to me."
Already a few beers in, he's not making the most sense.
"You know her?" I raise an eyebrow, working to keep my tone casual.
Carter smirks. "You could say that."
His words hit me like a sucker punch, but I manage to keep my face neutral. "Oh yeah? Didn't know you were seeing anyone."
"Well, not really," he admits with a shrug. "We've hooked up a few times. She's a bit of a challenge, but I like that. You could say we have a mutual understanding."
I take a swig of my water, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. It sounds like my best friend is still stuck in her same habits, always keeping everyone at least an arm’s length away, making sure feelings never get involved.
"Anyway," Carter continues, oblivious to my inner thoughts, "there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Check out that blonde by the fireplace. She's been eyeing you since you walked in."
I glance over at the girl he's pointing out. She's undeniably attractive, but my gaze keeps drifting back to Madison. Her redheaded friend has now spotted me, her eyes widening with recognition before nudging Madison hard enough to make her spill her drink. Madison glares at her friend, who's now pointing directly to where Carter and I stand.
It might be fucked up, but I take some comfort in the fact that she clearly told her friend about me.
"Yeah, maybe," I mutter to Carter, forcing myself to look away. "I think I'm gonna make the rounds. Catch you later."
I weave through the crowd, stopping to chat with teammates and classmates. But no matter who I'm talking to, I'm hyper-aware of Madison's presence. Every time I glance her way, she's looking at me with an unreadable expression. It's driving me crazy, wondering what's going through that gorgeous head of hers.
Does she regret leaving? Is she upset I showed up here? Or is she just annoyed I keep staring at her like some creep? Does she even remember the voicemail?
I'm in the middle of a conversation with Allie, the blonde Carter pointed out earlier, when the redhead bounces up to us, her green eyes sparkling with mischief.
"You must be Jaxon Montgomery," she says, sticking out her hand. "Lyla Harding. I’ve heard a lot about you. Can’t decide if it’s good or bad yet.”
I shake her hand, taken aback by her forwardness. "Nice to meet you."
