Page 19 of The Mistake
‘Yeah, right.’ Emily blinks and a tear slides over her bottom lashes, that she dashes away as if she doesn’t want Natalie to notice. ‘Erin isn’t my responsibility – I shouldn’t have to sacrifice time with my boyfriend or my friends to babysit all the time. Annabel invited me to Ibiza with her and Jodie this summer, did you know that? But I said no, because I knew you wouldn’t be able to cope with Erin on your own. If things had been different I could have been sunning myself on a beach right now.’
‘Oh, Em—’
‘No, Mum. I’m not talking about it any more. I’m going out.’ There is the honking of a car horn outside. ‘That’s Jake. I’ll be back later, and no, I don’t know what time, before you ask.’ Snatching up her phone, Emily hurries out of the house,slamming the front door behind her as if desperate to put some distance between them. Natalie sinks back against the kitchen worktop, her good mood punctured, waiting for the inevitable shout to come fromErin.
In some sort of miracle, Erin doesn’t wake, and Natalie makes her way upstairs, her hands shaking and her chest aching with unshed tears. In the bathroom she opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out the white box of diazepam the doctor prescribed, that she hasn’t quite been able to bring herself to start taking yet. The crushing sense of failure weighing down on her doesn’t dissipate as Natalie presses her fingers to the blister pack, popping two pills into her hand. Glancing into the mirror, Natalie catches a glimpse of her reflection, pausing as she raises her hand to her mouth. Dark circles ring her eyes and her blonde hair lies limp against her shoulders. Emily’s right – if they hadn’t had Erin, then the whole family would probably have gone away in the sun for a week after Emily’s exams had finished, and Natalie would have been sporting a bit of a tan, but instead her face is pasty white, and the beginning of a pimple glows on her chin. She blinks once, as if hoping the reflection will change and then, with a sigh, she turns to the toilet, throwing the pills into the bowl and flushing the chain.
Moments later, Natalie’s phone rings and she fumbles to answer before the ringtone can wake the baby.
‘Hello?’
‘Mrs Maxwell? This is Mrs Hendry. Zadie’s headteacher.’
‘Is Zadie OK?’ Natalie’s breath catches in her throat and her eyes go back to the white pill box. She shoves it back into the cupboard and closes the door.
‘She’s fine, but I wondered if you could come into the office.’
‘I can come in when I collect her.’
‘No.’ The word is a sigh. ‘We need to see you rather sooner than that, please. As soon as possible. There’s been an incident, and weneed to talk to you before we can decide on the appropriate action to be taken. I’d rather not discuss it over the phone.’
‘Oh. OK. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’ Natalie ends the call and, with her heart thumping fit to burst, she dials Pete. As usual, there is no answer. ‘Pete. Call me. It’s urgent, it’s about Zadie. I have to go to a meeting at the school.’
Peering into the bedroom, Natalie can just make out the slight rise and fall of Erin’s chest. She feels a wave of love, a crashing tsunami that takes her breath away, before dread takes over at the thought of having to wake her to take her into school for the meeting, knowing she’ll grizzle and cry all the way through. Stepping out of the room, Natalie hesitates on the landing for just a moment before she lifts her phone and calls Eve.
‘Eve? It’s me. Are you busy?’
‘Always. I’ve got a client at four o’clock, but today is mostly an admin day sorting things for new clients, so I’m hoping you’re calling to save me.’ Eve laughs. ‘Everything OK?’
‘I am so, so sorry to do this.’ Natalie feels her throat thicken and she blinks rapidly. ‘I have to go to a meeting at Zadie’s school and Erin is down for a nap. I don’t suppose there’s any way …?’
‘Of course!’ Eve says, and Natalie lets out a long breath of relief. ‘I’ll be right over.’
By the time Eve arrives, Erin is awake and crying, and Natalie feels terrible for dragging her out.
‘Sorry, she was sleeping when I called.’ Natalie grapples with a fussy Erin as Eve pushes her way into the hallway. ‘Don’t feel you have to stay. Hopefully she’ll drop off again in the pushchair.’
‘Don’t be daft, I’m here now.’ Barely glancing at Natalie, Eve holds out her arms and Erin bends towards her, her chubby hands reaching for Eve’s amber necklace. ‘How about I walk up with you and Erin, and then when you go into the meeting, I’ll walk Erin back home and meet you here? That way, both of you get a change of scenery.’
Natalie feels a rush of relief. ‘That sounds perfect.’ She wheels the pushchair onto the driveway and Eve tucks Erin safely in before taking the handles. ‘I’ll push. Come on, little miss, let’s go for a walk.’
They cut through the woods behind the house to get to the park, and as they reach the pond in the centre of the park, Natalie ignores the painful twist in her heart as Erin spies the ducks and begins to squeal.
‘See?’ Eve says, with a grin. ‘I told you she loves them. We’ll stop on the way back and feed them, baby girl. Oh, hi!’ Eve slows the pushchair to a stop as an older lady approaches and peers atErin.
‘Hello, you little monkey. I hope you’re being good for your mummy.’ The lady looks up at Eve and smiles, as Eve nods.
‘This is the lady we met last time we fed the ducks. We’ve seen her here a few times now,’ Eve says to Natalie, before turning back to the woman. ‘This is Erin’s mum, actually.’
‘Oh. Gosh, I’m sorry, I just assumed …’
‘Nice to meet you.’ Natalie smiles, but there is an urgent crashing in her chest. ‘Eve, sorry, but I really do need to go.’ Relief floods her veins when the other woman walks past, but even as Eve chatters away as they make their way towards the school, Natalie can’t shake the unsettling feeling that washed over her as she realised the woman had thought Eve was Erin’s mother.
Fifteen minutes later, Natalie has waved goodbye to Eve and Erin and is following the school secretary towards Mrs Hendry’s office, the thick scent of antiseptic and old school dinners heavy on the air. She smiles as she steps inside, but it soon fades as Mrs Hendry gets to her feet to shake her hand, the smile not reciprocated.
‘Mrs Maxwell, as I said on the phone, we’ve had an incident involving Zadie today, and this time it’s fairly serious.’
This time? What does she mean, ‘this time’?Natalie opens her mouth to speak, but Mrs Hendry rushes on.
