Ava leans her elbows on the counter and stares at me. I meant it when I said she stepped into the mother role a year ago. Growing up, my egg donor was absent most of the time, but when she was around, she never looked at me like Ava is right now, with worry in her eyes. No, Valarie always looked at me with pure hatred. It was no secret that I ruined her life. Even though I wasn’t the one who told her to start sleeping with a random guy she met at the bar or the one to suggest getting knocked up so he would leave his wife. But the blame for those choices rested solely on my shoulders.
Once Valarie realized my sperm donor was never coming back, she decided to ignore me like he was doing to her. At first, it wasn’t so bad, so what, she never spoke to me, at least she never hit me or let me go hungry. But that all changed when I was thirteen. One night, Valarie came home a complete mess. She was drunk and crying. She was the worst I had ever seen her in my whole life. When I tried to walk past her, she grabbed a fist full of my hair and threw me to the floor.
Before I knew what was happening, she was on top of me, hitting me in the face and screaming that my father killed himself. She said it was all my fault, that if I had never been born, he would have still been with her and that he would still be alive. I lay there in shock until she finally grew tired and passed out right on top of me. That night changed everything. She basically disappeared. Literally, she left and didn’t return for three months. That pattern stayed the same until I turned eighteen and moved out.
It was hard at first. I was only thirteen and had no clue what to do. I quickly learned that she wasn’t coming back, and I had to figure out a way to survive on my own. I don’t know what made her continue to pay the electricity and water bill, or even if she knew she was paying it, but they never got cut off. The only thing that I had to worry about was food. Luckily, I got breakfast and lunch free from the school. For dinner, I would ration what we had, and when I ran out, I started babysitting for money.
I didn’t have any friends, so no one noticed that she wasn’t around. I always told the school that Valarie was sick and couldn’t attend parent-teacher meetings. I never got into trouble and ensured that I looked perfect so no one would suspect she wasn’t taking care of me. It got easier when I turned sixteen and was able to get a job. I had to beg Valarie to stay long enough for me to get my permit when I was fifteen and my license when I was sixteen. I didn’t have a car, but I needed an ID to get a job. When she heard I got a job, she started demanding money, which I gave her because the first time I said no, she ended up breaking my arm. She took me to the doctor’s, told them a story about me falling, and they believed her. When she put on her perfect mom performance everyone bought it.
I saved enough money that when I turned eighteen, I was able to afford a very small, run-down studio apartment in town. I didn’t tell Valarie I was leaving. I just packed my stuff and left. She tracked me down, but I told her that if she ever contacted me again, I was going to tell everyone who would listen what happened. I kept proof of every time she hit me in the form of pictures and a journal. Would that be enough? I had no clue, but it worked. She left me alone from that point on.
It took me three years to work up the courage to look up my father, Mitchell Black. That’s when I found out I had an older brother. His name was Reed, and he was eight years older thanme. Then, it took me another two years to work up the courage to show up at Reed’s house.
“Tara,” Ava says my name, and I shake my head to clear away all thoughts of Valarie, Mitchell, and Reed.
“Sorry I didn’t get much sleep last night.” I take another bite of food, hoping Ava doesn’t notice the slight tremor in my hands.
“I asked how you were feeling after seeing Gabe?” Ava’s eyes are on my hand. I sit the fork down and place my hands in my lap.
“Ava, can we just not talk about this right now? I’m exhausted and want to sleep for days. Please.” I look up and plead with my eyes for her to let this go.
“Sure, love. Finish your breakfast and head upstairs,” Ava says, reaching over and patting my hand.
After eating everything on my plate and drinking my coffee, I pull Ava in for a hug and head upstairs to my room—the same room I’ve slept in since the first time I woke up in this house. I am tired, but I’m not going to sleep. Sitting on my bed, I copy the number Vance sent me into a new blank message.
Me
I know the truth about that night, Lilly. I know that Tara Pope didn’t leave the bar alone.
I keep the message simple and short. The thought of causing Lilly any distress doesn’t sit well with me, but this is the only way I know how to find out what the hell happened. If I have to scare her a little in order for her to tell me the truth, then I will deal with the disgusting feeling. While Dean might have gotten the justice he deserves—even if I didn’t deliver it—Ned Lemmons is still out there breathing, and I can’t wait any longer to rectify that.
Chapter
Seven
GABE
“Gabe, this is?—”
“I didn’t ask you for your fucking opinion. I asked if you wanted to come,” I say, forgetting that there are two little boys listening to everything I say.
“Language,” Ali scolds me as she points to Caleb and Jacob, her twin boys playing in the living room.
“Shit, sorry,” I say and proceeding to mess up again. I sigh and blame all of this on the fucking woman who is messing with me. I shoot Ali another apologetic look only to find her smiling at me like she knows something I don’t. I turn my attention back to Reed. “Are you coming or not?”
“Do you have any idea who Elio Altobelli is?” Reed asks.
“No, I don’t, and I don’t really care right now. All I care about is the fact that there is another Tara-shaped hole in my life. I had her for a few hours, and now she is gone again. Do you have any clue how that makes me feel? No, because you have the girl you love, safe here in your home. While mine is out there,” I point behind me, “on a mission that could lead to her being hurt or worse, actually dead. So I don’t give a shit about who this guy is. I’m going to get my girl. With or without you.” My patiencewith my best friend is wearing really thin. First, he demanded that Tara was actually dead, and now he is acting like the biggest chicken I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen this man cut a man’s throat without blinking.
What happened to that version?
“I’m not saying that we shouldn’t go get her, but I think going in there without a plan and guns blazing isn’t the smartest move,” Reed says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“This was a waste of my time.” I turn around and stomp out of his house toward my truck. Fuck him. Reed yells my name, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop, not now that I’ve had her back in my arms. I refuse to live another moment without her by my side. I meant what I said last night: she will get her revenge and justice, but she will do it with me beside her. Even if I have to handcuff her to me and swallow the fucking key.
This morning, when I woke up to empty arms and cold sheets that were once warmed by her, I lost it. I knew there was no use searching the house for her. Just like I knew she was still alive. I knew she was gone again. So, instead, I grabbed my computer and looked up Elio Altobelli. It didn’t take me long to find his home address. I didn’t bother showering. I pulled on the first pair of clean clothes and jumped into my truck. I wasted time stopping by Reed’s, but I can’t change that now. I have a two-and-a-half-hour drive ahead of me, and I’m hoping to tame my anger in that amount of time.
My phone rings, and I answer it without taking my eyes off the road. I figure it’s Reed calling, so I say, “Listen here, you motherfucker. I’ve already told you I’m doing this my way, and nothing you say will change my mind.”
