Page 30 of Hearts Don't Lie

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Page 30 of Hearts Don't Lie

“I can’t,” she said, shutting her eyes and scooting away from him, her breathing matching his. “You don’t want me to, trust me. I’d be listening to only my body, and I need to listen to my brain. I want to talk. I need to get through what I wanted to say last night and today.”

He reached out. His hand traveled through the air, then dropped heavily into his lap. “You’re right, of course. It’s just that, well, it just feels so right to kiss you. To hold you again.”

“There’s more than just the physical, Hardin.”

“You don’t need to remind me of that,” he said with an edge. “If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been looking for you all this time.”

Her eyes searched his, then dropped to her lap before she looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ll recap what’s occurred since I left Illinois, some of which you know. Do you promise not to interrupt me?”

He pinned her with his eyes, then held up his hand and said solemnly, “I promise.”

Mac changed her position so that she mirrored Hardin—sitting on her butt, legs crossed in front of her, elbows resting on her thighs, hands clasped in her lap. “That last night, after the police brought me home, she went off on me full throttle.” Her fingers touched the pale scar under her left eye. “Alicia cut me with her nail or some cheap ring she was wearing. I didn’t realize she had opened up my face until the next morning. Probably because my system was overwhelmed by the pain from multiple slaps and punches and being slammed into the walls and counters. I was numb and hurting all at the same time, like it would move through my body in waves. I couldn’t distinguish between my tears and the blood. All of it tasted salty. Alicia split my lip too. She banged me around so much I could barely stand. Called me a whore,” Mac said, looking away from him, her voice breaking. “Who calls their daughter that?” she asked softly, brushing more tears from her cheeks.

He assumed Mac’s question was rhetorical, so he didn’t answer, but God how he wanted to. Her mother was a fucking bitch. Some people shouldn’t be parents, and in his opinion, Alicia Vesley topped the list.

“When I was able, I opened the door. Stumbled down those rickety stairs and ran. It was raining cats and dogs by then. I spent the night under the picnic table on that rise on the edge of the court. You know the one. Thank God it was a warm night. It kept the worst of the rain off me, but I still woke cold and stiff.”

Hardin ached to take Mac into his arms but settled for holding her hands in his and stroking them periodically to signal he was listening and to encourage her to keep going.

“When I got back in, as I said, I’d been bleeding. The bruising was already there, and it got worse in the coming days. The trailer was a mess. It looked like someone tossed it, but it was Alicia having one of her famous tantrums.” She shook her head and looked past him as if she was envisioning what she’d returned to. “So much had been broken. Destroyed. Including my phone. The SIM card was missing. I panicked, trying to figure out how I was going to see you, contact you. I decided I’d ride my bike even though I didn’t look so great.” A sob escaped her.

Fuck it.Hardin pulled her forward into his arms. “Baby—”

“I’m okay.” She took a few deep breaths as if to brace herself and pulled back from him.

“Mac—”

“You promised me. Please. I need to get through this. I’ve never told anyone what Alicia did.” She looked at him with a questioning expression while searching his eyes.

“Okay,” he said, combing her hair back. “It’s just so hard to watch you struggle through this. I wish I could make it go away. Make it not hurt.”

“You can’t. The only way to make it go away is to go through it, shatter its hold on me.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll try my hardest to not interrupt again or to hold you.”

“Thank you.” Her chin quivered, and she rubbed at her eyes before speaking again. “She had slashed my tires. Alicia fucking slashed my tires,” she said bitterly. “I decided I’d run, right? I was fit. I needed my gym shoes, but they were gone. Every single last pair of my shoes were gone. I’d seen her throw a trash bag in the trunk before she took off, which was odd, but then I understood why. She had effectively kept me from getting to you. I have to give Alicia credit.” Mac gave him a wry smile. “She thought of everything. I wore the sandals I had on from the previous night, the new ones I had just gotten out of layaway. I had slept in them and they didn’t last long because they really were all for looks. Lesson learned,” she murmured.

The silence stretched out, reminding him of how comfortable they had been in the silence with each other, never feeling the need to fill it but embracing it for what it offered, space to be together without attached strings. The ability to absorb and navigate their worlds. Room to heal from the onslaught of expectations and lack of appreciation and validation. Time to garner perseverance. He sensed Mac was gathering more courage to go on and covered her slim hands with his.

She smiled slowly at him. “Thank you for that. For the silence. For giving me the space, Hardin. These were layers of the saving grace we offered one another.”

He returned her smile and nodded, prepared to wait patiently until she was ready to share more.

“Alicia didn’t return until the evening of the next day. She didn’t apologize of course but asked if I’d learned anything frommybehavior, if dinner was ready. I didn’t answer her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even look at her. I think that’s the first time I understood how someone could hate another. I left and took a walk down the road, barefoot. My feet bled again. I had scraped and cut them after my sandals broke. I didn’t go back in until I knew she was asleep, and that’s how I got through the semester. Leaving before she woke. Not coming home until after she was asleep. Alicia did give me my cleats back for the season and one pair of gym shoes. How kind of her,” she said snidely.

He grunted in support and slid closer until their knees touched.

“None of my friends had your number. Hell, I didn’t even know your number. Hardin, why did we only plug our numbers into each other’s phones? Why didn’t Iknowyour number? I would have been able to call you from someone else’s phone. Maybe our story would have been different. At least we would have been in control of it.”

He lifted one of her hands and kissed it gently, savoring the scent of her skin.

“We were served the restraining orders. And then my offer to North Carolina University was rescinded. It was the final straw. I had no other way to contact you. Oh my God…” She cried softly for a while, then pulled herself together.

If only. He could kick himself. It killed him watching her, knowing that Alicia and his parents were at the root of their separation and their pain. What hadn’t they done? Their devious cooperation sickened him.

“I left after Alicia gave me my graduation gift. A hundred-dollar bill. There was nothing to look forward to. No you. No us. A friend of mine had a contact in Piñon Ridge, so I got on a bus and came out with money Iborrowedfrom Alicia. I found her hidden cache when cleaning. I had no idea how she had accumulated such a large amount. I didn’t begin borrowing from it until one thing after another happened. A little bit at a time, hoping Alicia wouldn’t notice or would wonder if she’d spent some of it when she was drunk. As luck would have it, she never discovered what I’d been doing. I always intended to pay her back, but things have been lean and now that I know your parents bought her compliance and silence, that’s not going to happen.”

So engrossed was he in Mac’s story that he didn’t realize he had opened his mouth to speak.


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