“Where is he?”
Forest walked toward me. I backed up like a frightened animal. If he touched me, I would shatter into a billion pieces.
“Where. Is. He.” I said louder and more forcefully than I intended. These were good men. I was scared. I didn’t want to hear the answer. I knew his four brothers standing here was terrible. I knew that my world was about to fall apart.
“Aaron,” Stone said softly. I backed away again, my back hitting the wall.
“Please tell me.” My voice started to crack. “Just tell me.”
“Aaron, we don’t know. The plane went down in the mountains. They hadn’t found it yet. The weather had worsened, and they are having difficulty getting to the last known coordinates.”
All I heard was a ringing in my ears that was so loud it drowned out whatever Stone was saying. His plane went down. I tried to wrap my head around the words.
A guttural screaming noise broke through, and I realized I was the one making it. I was on my knees, utterly broken. Forest was crouched next to me with his hand on my back while I sobbed. I refused to believe that this was happening.
There was no way I could find the power to stand up. I leaned my back against the wall. Blaze and Forest sat on either side of me. Stone then Storm sat next to them. We pulled our knees to our chins and held hands. I thought I would black out, and Forest put his arm around me.
I’d never felt a pain like I felt now, knowing something had happened to River. I was desperate to bring him home. I refused to accept anything other than he would be ok.
“What needs to be done to bring him back to us.” I managed to get out. My voice was rough and cracked, thick with pain.
Forest spoke up. “They have rescuers on skis heading towards where they think the crash happened. Because of the severe weather, they can’t put a helicopter in the air.”
“I’ll pay for anything. Get all the people out there that we can. Get dogs, rescue teams, anything and everything that will bring River home safely.” Putting my head down, I was unable to think.
“I’ll make some calls.” Blaze stood up and walked a few feet away.
I picked up my phone. The last thing I looked at was the app that showed where the plane was. It sat blank, and my stomach clenched. I texted Sarah.
Please come.
In less than ten minutes, Sarah dropped to her knees before me. “What is it?”
I latched on to her, and she held me tight. I couldn’t find it in me to say the words. I refused to say the words. I would wake up and find none of this was real if I didn't say it.
Forest watched with interest at our display. He didn’t even know who Sarah was to me. “I’m River’s brother, Forest; his plane went down in the mountains. They haven’t located the people or the wreckage.”
She blinked at him and tried to take in what had happened. “Oh my god.” She pulled me closer. “We’ll find him, honey you won’t lose him. I’m his sister.” She told Forest as she tried to comfort me.
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, this had to be a nightmare. My heart was beating out of my chest. I felt Daisy land on my shoulder. I was afraid I was about to suffocate.
“Find a paper bag quickly, please.” I could hear someone digging around the kitchen. She put the bag over my mouth. “Inhale. Exhale,” she said steadily. “You’re having a panic attack.”
Sarahtalked me through my panic, and I was able to find the ability to breathe again. I no longer felt like I was about to die. “Sarah, he can’t be taken from me. I didn’t tell him, Sarah. I didn’t tell him how in love with him I am. I should have told him.” I couldn’t feel much of anything other than the pain that had settled in my breastbone.
“You will get to tell him, Aaron.” Her eyes weren’t as sure as her words were.
Somehow, as a group, they moved me to the couch. Blaze came over and said the first rescue team was about an hour away from the suspected site. The weather was slowing them down, so it could take as long as three hours, and they must see if there is a crash site.” I suddenly felt like I was going to vomit. I ran to the second bathroom, slamming the door. I couldn’t handle the thought of walking into the bedroom where we were intimate three days earlier. There were so many memories left to make with him.
I sat on the floor and cried. I couldn’t face these people. I wanted to comfort his brothers. They were going through the same fear and pain I was, but I was drowning in my misery.
I didn’t know how long I sat there. I heard a knock on the door. “Dad?”
“Tanner?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Aunt Sarah called me. I think she is just rallying the family, and since there are just the four of us, Rodney is here, too. I can leave you alone if you want.” I was overwhelmed that so many people were here to support me.
“No, come in. Close the door behind you, though.” I watched as he did as I asked. He sat down on the floor next to me. He took my hand in his, and then we just sat there, saying nothing to each other. It was nice to have someone there that wasn’t talking. I didn’t need someone reminding me how real this was. Tanner looked at me.
