I stepped in tentatively, still wearing my jeans. I could feel my chest squeezed tight as I heard his sobs. I dropped to my knees and pulled him against me. Clinging to me, he wept. His arms wrapped around my waist. “Oh, baby I whispered into the top of his head.”
I cried for him and with him. I couldn’t imagine the anguish he felt. He finally spoke. “Why would he lie about me to that boy? He was a little guy just making his way in the world. To say someone didn't want him, that I thought he was a brat, that’s just cruel.”
“I don’t know. It sounds like Tanner’s father didn’t care what his son needed. He is just a narcissist.” I had many things I wanted to say about Stephen, but that wouldn’t help Aaron now.
“Tanner told me he always thought of me as his dad. I wasn’t even there. I should have tried harder to be there for him.”
“Honey, you did all you could. He knows you did the best you could. At least he ended up being raised by his grandparents, who were good people.” I wanted to carry this pain he felt for him.
“How many years did he feel like he wasn’t enough? Like he had been abandoned, left alone without someone. The only person he had didn’t even seem to care about him. Feeling alone and vulnerable like that is the most terrifying thing in the world.”
He had told me a little about his childhood and how he had bounced around foster homes before being separated from his sister. He knew this pain firsthand. He had been abandoned and left behind by people who loved him and dumped by people he thought should love him.
I stroked his head and repeatedly said, “I’m so sorry.” All I could offer him was comfort. After a while, I stood up. “Let me get you washed and in bed.”
When we steppedout of the shower, I helped him dry off. “Let’s go.” I guided him towards the bedroom, where I lifted the covers where he climbed under.
The dragons were in their box. I got in bed on the other side. I opened my arms, and Aaron came to me, resting his head on my chest.
“To know he felt a fraction of my agony is the worst. I remember how scary it was and how I felt like it was all my fault. The jackass that is his father, I can’t even say his name anymore, knew how bad that hurt me. How could he not see he was doing the same thing to his child?”
I shook my head. It was beyond me. “I feel like his father has different priorities in his life. I think Tanner realizes that he was lied to. It doesn't take away the pain or repair the hurt, but it helps him know the truth. That will be the beginning of healing the damage.” I was out of my depth here. I couldn't even imagine not giving a family member all the love and attention you could.
“I am so thankful that we will have a relationship now. Tanner asked if he could call me Dad.” I smiled.
“How do you feel about that?” I could feel him grin.
“I like it. I will do everything I can to prove I deserve the title.” He said with the most enthusiasm since we left for dinner.
“I do not doubt that you will. You are a good person, and everyone with you in their life is better. I know that I am.”
“Thank you.” He leaned his head up, and I kissed him.
I slid down further, and he settled next to me. His leg rested over mine in the possessive way we’ve grown accustomed to. My eyes grew heavy, and my fingers danced up and down his arm. I could feel the goosebumps on his flesh as I touched him. We fell asleep like that, Aaron wrapped around me, and there wasn’t a place I would rather be.
Chapter thirty
Aaron
I woke up feeling happy. I had Tanner back in my life. I had missed years, but at least we could build something in his last year of high school and on to college. There were so many things I wanted to learn about him. He seemed to be a good kid despite his father.
Then I had River, and he filled my heart. I never knew someone like him. The only person that seemed to ever care about me was Sarah. I thought I was okay without that person in my life. I realized now that I was kidding myself. It wasn’t about sex, and hookups had always been something I could get. He offered me so much more than sex. He gave me companionship, comfort, protection, and kindness.
I got out of bed and pressed my lips to River’s forehead. He was the sexiest man I have ever seen. I wanted to stare at him while he slept, but that seemed creepy. I went to the kitchen to start coffee. I heard Daisy and Charlie flutter in from the other room. Those two had become great friends, which was good because Daisy and I planned to be with them all the time.
I poured two cups of coffee. I felt River come up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed the back of my neck, and put his head on my shoulder. This was another one of those little things we did now.
“Hi you.” I smiled. This guy was everything to me.
“Hi you.” I turned around, handed him his coffee, and kissed him gently. I put vegetables and freeze-dried snacks on a plate for the kids. “Eat you two.” They landed on the counter and ate their breakfast. I grabbed two packages of toaster pastries and slid one across the table. “You have a few minutes before we head to work?”
River opened the package. “Oh, Apple.”
I opened mine. “I got s’mores. Share?” We traded one each, so we had a combo pack.
“I’d like your opinion on something.” It was nice to have someone to talk to other than Matt. I leaned across and pulled his mouth to mine.
“Tell me what’s up.”
