Page 51 of Lovers' Dance: Vol. 2
“He had this sailor cap, it was one of his most prized possessions and he lost it that day. As expected he was inconsolable. When they returned to the estate I tried my best to cheer him up but nothing worked. Then Mr Bradley, senior that is, pulled him aside and said to cease his tears. He explained to him that one should never get too attached to anything because you eventually lose it. One way or the other. That to love something with all your heart is a foolish thing to do. A person should always remain detached so when something is lost or comes to an end, then they are able to move on with little to no effect. This is a lesson he has applied throughout his life, especially when it comes to the opposite sex.”
“What? What sort of head fuck is that?” I screeched. Oh. The next time I saw Grumps I was going to…to do something bad.
“Ms DuMont. Please. Such language is distasteful.” George shot me a hard look then got a plate out and placed my French toast on it. “So bearing this in mind, it is understandable that Mr Bradley is scared. You are very important to him and he fears the possibility of losing you because he is not detached where it concerns you. He is doing all that he can to keep you in his life and the only way he knows how is to maintain an ironclad control over the situation. The fast progression of your relationship is testament to that.”
I took the plate George held out and chewed my inner cheeks as he got me a knife and fork.
“But he’s not going to lose me,” I said in frustration. “And I feel smothered, pressured. He knows he’s not going to lose me.”
“Perhaps, but he’s not willing to take the risk.” George turned the stove off and put the batter into the fridge. Guess he wasn’t eating. Then he turned to me and said, “I’d prefer if this conversation remains between us,”
I arched an eyebrow.
“Mr Bradley would be displeased if-”
“I won’t tattle, George.” I started digging into my French toast.
George visibly relaxed. “He is trying though, so you should be more understanding.”
“Ha. Typical. You’re on his side,” I muttered.
“I am also fond of you, Ms DuMont.” he said then snorted at either himself or me and high-tailed it out the kitchen, but not beforesaying. “And let this be the last time you sit upon the centre island.”
“Leave me alone, old man.” I yelled at the now empty doorway. Wow. Knowledge was power, but I was still going to my own home after breakfast. I missed walking into my front door, plus it had been really cold the past few days. What if my pipes had frozen and burst? Crap!
It was good to be home and I was looking forward to the upcoming date with my own bed. I had spent all day doing nothing and it was bliss. The only dark cloud on an otherwise sunny horizon was my call to Matt. The conversation was fine, but I could feel the simmering tension of unspoken words. My ‘I love you’s at the end of the call were extra vibrant. Ok. I’m lying, there were numerous dark clouds and all because I missed the hell out of my knight. How messed up was that? I wanted space yet I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Right now I was putting in some serious couch time with Pinot Grigio and a late night zombie movie on the box. My darkened living room had nothing on Matt’s top of the line entertainment room, but my couch was more comfortable, so there. And I could stand on it, as I was doing now, without fear of reprisal. I doubted Matt would let me jump up and down on his furniture like this. Plus I had on granny panties under my oversized t-shirt, I could never wear this old-faithful at Matt’s.
“Run, girl,” I shouted at the screen. “Run like you’re an illegal and the INS are after you.” She was running, but those darned zombies were gaining. There were gratuitous amounts of horror and violence in the storyline. My kind of show. “Oh shit. Run.” I gulped my wine, a little tipsy and agitated as I bounced slightly on the couch. “Don’t stop, you fool! Just run.”
The sound of the front door opening and closing had me turning in petrified slow motion. My mouth was stretched wide open in a soundless scream. I didn’t think it was possible, to scream yet not make a sound. Fear had choked me.
Logically I knew it had to be Matt. A key had to be used to open the door. I knew this, yet those seconds it took for me to make thatturn…God! If there was ever a zombie apocalypse I wouldn’t survive. No instinctive full zombie attack mode for me, more like stand there like a fool and get eaten. I hadn’t even tried to run.
“Poppet?” Matt put his briefcase down and stared at me. “Are you alright? Why are you standing on the couch?”
It took a few more seconds for me to unhinge my jaw from the silent scream.
“JesusChrist, Matt.” I hissed. “You scared me.”
He flicked on the lights and glanced at the tv. The girl was being eaten. “I told you to stop watching these scary movies.”
I gave him an incredulous look as I got down from the sofa and put my glass on the coffee table. “What are you doing here?”
He didn’t answer, just took off his jacket, toed off his shoes and tugged his tie loose. He looked tired, exhausted actually.
“Matt?” I called quietly as I made my way over to him.
“I know you wanted to spend time alone,” He glanced everywhere but at me.
I touched the sleeve of his shirt and he finally looked at me. I didn’t say anything, just took his hand and led him over to the couch where we sat down. I leaned against the sofa arm and stretched my legs out, one behind him and the other over his lap. Then I beckoned him closer. Matt laid his head across my chest while I stroked his hair and his back.
“It’s difficult getting to sleep without you at my side, poppet.” he murmured into my chest. “I was heading home from the office and…I ended up driving here.”
His shoulders were so tense. We didn’t talk any more. I rubbed his back until he relaxed and let out an inaudible sigh. Soon after his breathing deepened and I knew he was falling asleep.
Maybe the chat I had with George earlier this morning had opened my eyes because the vulnerability being displayed by Matt was something I’d never noticed before. My knight always projected the image of dominance and self-assurance, maybe I had been blinded by this. He always strived to give me what I needed and although sometimes I resented his take charge attitude, I appreciated it. I appreciated him. He was vulnerable and he needed me. Matt needed me; not for sexual gratification, or to show off on his arm. He justneeded me and yes, he could be manipulative, but weren’t we all in one way or the other?
