Page 76 of First Chance
“Replace it with a green smoothie, don’t be a pig.”
“Yes, mother.”
It’s strange how time can heal parts of the brain that seemed irreparably damaged. Six months ago, my mother had her claws so deep in me that I couldn’t take a bite of food without considering her disapproval.
Any article of clothing that touched my body had to passher inspection.
One cross look would send me running to my room to change before I ended up in tears and ruining my makeup. The makeup that she critiqued down to each pore.
There hasn’t been a miracle cure, but I find myself thinking about her opinion less.
I got less blonde highlights in my hair this morning at the salon, and I haven’t been able to stop checking my reflection.
It’s taken twenty-four years, but I’m finally starting to look like me and not the prototype she wanted but could never quite get right.
There’s a knock at my door suddenly, and I suspect it’s another delivery from Lochlan. He’s been leaving random gifts.
Gift isn’t the right word. Peace offerings would be more apt.
The first time, it was a drawing, held in place by a rock, that his niece had drawn. A colored pencil portrait of us doing our makeup. It was cute, so I hung it on my mini fridge.
I didn’t make any effort to thank him for it.
The next delivery was a box of Girl Scout cookies.
I ate them, but I didn’t thank him for them either.
When I went into his kitchen to get a few hours of work done the other day, there was a pink sticky note on the whiskey cabinet with my name on it. He swapped all my sweets down low so I didn’t need to use a chair. I threw the note away and never mentioned it.
The last delivery was a small pizza from his sister’s pizza shop. The kind with my favorite toppings.
I haven’t acknowledged him when I know he’s sitting on the porch, and I definitely haven’t asked to explore the property.Not since he lashed out at me for the last time.
I’m starting to gain the tiniest shreds of self-worth, and he is not going to take them away from me.
I open the door expecting to see something on my little welcome mat, but instead I see men’s boots.
For the briefest moment, I consider shutting the door in his face, letting him feel an inkling of how he treats me, but he sees my intention before I can follow through.
“Can I talk to you? Please.”
He looks as dark and dangerous as usual, and undeniably handsome. “We have to leave for the event soon.”
“I know. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“Fine.” I brush past him to sit on the porch steps because I do not want to be inside the guesthouse with him.
“Here.” He grabs a jacket from inside the door before I can sit and lays it down on the top porch step so my black dress doesn’t get dusty.
“Thanks.”
“We both know that I need to apologize for my behavior the other night. I’m sorry for how I acted, and I’m sorry for not knowing what to say to fix it.”
“You don’t owe me an apology, Lochlan. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Of course, I do. I owe you everything.”
“I don’t want you to only be nice to me because I convinced my father to exonerate you.”
