Page 24 of The Banned Books Club
Louisa Hart had obviously been trying to enlist Ida’s help in getting Gia to finally “tell the truth about what happened,” which made Gia want to scream.
The conversation revealed something else, too. It wasn’t just Gia’s old schoolmates who’d become friendly with the Harts. It was also her family. They’d all been living in Wakefield together since Gia left and had, apparently, figured out a way to get along.
Gia was pretty sure they evenlikedeach other. Her mother would’ve been much harsher otherwise. Gia supposed that didn’t constitute a betrayal exactly, but it sure as hell felt like one.
The sound of footsteps made her jerk her head up.
“What’s going on?” her father asked, wearing a quizzical expression as he trudged toward her from the living room, probably on his way to the bathroom down the hall.
“Nothing, I... I was just taking Mom some tea,” she said and opened the door.
When she entered the room, her mother looked up but didn’t mention the call.
“I thought you might like some green tea,” Gia said.
Ida’s smile grew pained. “I hate green tea.”
Gia had to be careful not to trip over Miss Marple, who’d gotten up to come toward her. “I’m not a fan of it myself, but...”
“I know,” she said. “They say it fights cancer. Not nearly well enough, apparently, but—” a tired smile softened her expression “—I’ll do my best to get it down.”
Gia wanted to bring up Louisa’s call. To reiterate that she’d been telling the truth all along. She had no idea how to convince everyone of that and wassotired of battling the doubt.
Feeling it was pointless to keep trying—she put the cup on the bedside table and started to leave.
Her mother’s voice stopped her at the door. “The truth is the truth, Gia. You were right to stick to it.”
This was the first time her mother had addressed the situation in what Gia interpreted as an authentic manner. After Evan Hart was sentenced to hundreds of hours of community service and had to register as a sex offender, Ida had said a few things, but they’d felt more like platitudes—a way to keep the peace between them because their relationship had become so rocky.
Gia held her mother’s gaze. “What I told you back then went down exactly as I said it did.”
“I know.”
Ida’s response caused Gia to blink in surprise. She hesitated to delve too far into this subject. It’d been such a source of pain through the years. The resentment she felt was bound to seep out in some way—and would probably start an argument. She didn’t want it to come to that. She’d only been home a short while. And she was here to help—not put her mother through another emotional episode.
Still, she couldn’t resist one final question. “So...why have I always felt as though you wished I’d never said it?”
Her mother removed her reading glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose for several seconds before putting them back on and looking up again. “Because I didn’t want what you told me to be true. No mother wants to hear something like that has happened to her daughter.”
Gia had expected Ida to insist she’d been as supportive as a parent should be. This far more honest answer took her off guard. “I didn’t invite that...that sort of relationship, Mom. I admired him, yes. And I was stupid and naive enough not to see his interest changing. But...I was seventeen.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
In that moment, Gia should’ve felt she’d just been relieved of a huge burden. Her mother had finally said the words she’d longed to hear ever since it happened. Ida didn’t hold her responsible!
But the self-doubt was still there—what hadreallymade the incident so difficult. If she’d never felt anything for Mr. Hart and could be totally convinced her admiration was just that—admiration of a student for a teacher—she could accept this as the absolution she needed. But she’d found it flattering that he’d liked her so much, especially because so many of the other girls had vied for his attention. She’d been excited to visit his house, too. She’d thought he was so handsome and smart.
Could it be that she was partially to blame, after all? Should she have seen it coming and done more to stop it? What had made her agree to go to his house that day instead of asking why they couldn’t take care of the problem with her grade at school?
Those questions drove her nuts late at night. Butshehadn’t crossed the line.Hehad, she reminded herself. “I cared about him,” she admitted, her voice almost a whisper.
“Which makes what he did even worse,” her mother said.
Gia wished she could kneel in front of her mother and sob into Ida’s lap—finally rid herself of the guilt she carried in addition to all the other emotions that’d plagued her since that long-ago evening.
But now she had to admit that it wasn’t just her parents’ doubt that’d been stopping her from letting go of the past.
It was her own.
