Page 9 of Teach Me K-Pop
His cheeks are instantly light pink. I love it, the way he always seems a little embarrassed by any kind of compliment. He covers his cheeks and blurts out, “American food is .... very different.”
“I miss Korean food every day.” My words come out poutier than I intended but Nikko appears to be delighted by this.
“What do you miss most?” he asks, leaning toward the screen as though he doesn’t want to miss what I’m about to say.
The extreme close-up makes me unconsciously sit back in my chair, because my brain is at least cognizant enough to know I need space if I’m going to answer coherently. I have to fight not to lick my lips, thinking about all of my favorite dishes. “Galbi. Samgyeopsal. Tteokbokki. Hotteok.” I may groan a little.
Nikko watches me carefully, the corners of his mouth twitching. He stops fighting it and lets himself smirk at me. “I think that’s what I will have for dinner tonight.”
My jaw drops. Not only is that incredibly mean, it’s also the first time he’s teased me. It took about six weeks, but it’s a great sign he’s comfortable with me now. I’m about to protest when my alarm goes off, signaling that I have got to get a move on before it’s too late to get ready for work.
He’s laughing as he throws up a peace sign and says, “Goodbye, Jase!”
?
It’s too fucking early for this. Turns out, poetry was the worst idea I’ve had recently. Maybe ever. I can’t be sure about anything right now.
“It is like a love song. But no music. The words are everything,“ Nikko says, quietly. He looks back at his phone and re-reads the last few lines of the poem again. Like the first time he did it wasn’t bad enough.
It’s not bad, though. It’s theoppositeof bad. But it’s the middle of the night or the wee hours of morning, depending on how I look at it, and he’s just... reading poetry to me.
In this gorgeous, soft voice with better inflection than he has any right to have in a second language.
He didn’t stumble over any of the words or pronunciation, which makes me wonder if he practiced it. If he read it in front of the mirror or to one of his brothers. I want to know how and why he picked it. If he just found it or went looking for something specific, settling on this combination of lines that would make me feel things that are far too complicated to process on this little sleep and so much caffeine.
I’d yawned through the first 20 minutes of our conversation, with Nikko becoming increasingly concerned. So I’d excused myself to make another cup of coffee and put in some eye drops, attempting to wake up some. I hadn’t asked why our session time had to change after nearly two months of meeting up consistently, but he’d requested it and let me know it might happen again in the future.
When I returned to the computer, hoping to appear more functional, he’d asked if we could read poetry again. I had been expecting more silly rhymes like the ones I’d shared with him about a week ago that had made us both laugh. But instead, he whipped out his phone and started reading this poem that I’d never heard before but will probably haunt my dreams until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
I try to stay calm and be chill as I agree with him. “Yes, definitely. I have always thought song lyrics are poetry. I’m that guy who looks up the words to any song I hear, because I want to know for sure what they’re saying. So I can really understand them.” I yawn again, and Nikko’s Look of Concern returns. His face is entirely too pretty for the way his brow wrinkles, but it doesn’t make him any less attractive.
“This is not good for you,” he states, like it’s just a fact. He’s not wrong, exactly, but that seems irrelevant.
“It’s fine,” I protest, as I actively try to stifle another yawn. “Just an adjustment period. We’ll figure it out.”
Nikko frowns. “You do not have to do this for me. I will find a way. Or time somewhere else.”
There’s an instant sort of panic that comes over me, at the idea of him working with someone else. It’s only been a little more than a couple of months, but these chats are the highlight of my days (weeks) now. I’m past the point of trying to convince myself I’m not attracted to him, and I’m approaching being able to admit that Ilikehim. It’s probably wildly unprofessional, which is why I’m doing my best to keep it all under wraps.
“Do you not want to do this anymore?” I ask, hesitantly. “Would you rather find someone else?”
“What? I did not say that.” He scowls, offended. “I do not want you to be sleepy all the time because of me. I am not sure of the hours difference, but I know it is a lot. You are always meeting me, but I have not done well with meeting you.”
How am I supposed to respond to that? In a few sentences my student has shown himself to be more considerate than any of the guys I’ve dated.
Nikko peers directly into the camera for a moment, his eyes dark and serious. “I do not want to find another person to talk to.” He leans back, looks down and bites his lip as he thinks. “I will make it better.”
I want to put my head in my hands as I wonder if this whole session has been some sort of dream that my subconscious conjured up to send me a message about taking those off-brand melatonin pills I bought online. I’m probably reading too much into everything because I’m tired, and the lack of proper sleep is catching up with me and making me mildly delusional. “Nikko, it’s okay. I just have to get used to it.”
“Will you go back to sleep now?” He’s staring right at me again, waiting for my answer.
“Yeah, I’ll go to bed for a couple hours before I go to work,” I tell him. “We have a pep assembly today and those are always fun, so it will be easy to stay awake.”
Nikko raises an eyebrow, clearly unfamiliar with the concept. “Pep assembly?”
Chuckling, I try to come up with the best way to describe the madness. “Think of any American movie that you’ve seen that’s set in a high school. You know how there’s always some big game or something coming up, and they have a scene where everyone is crowded in the gym or in the bleachers by a football field, and the band is playing, and the cheerleaders are flipping in the air, and everyone is yelling?”
“Oh! Yes! That is what you will do today?” He seems much more excited now, knowing I have something like this coming up.
