Page 123 of The Lost Book of First Loves
She thought of her deep relief when he had walked in and how she had wanted to fling herself into his arms, to hold on tight as she felt like her world was spiraling around her.
She was entangled in all of their lives, whether she liked it or not.
Chapter 41
Beckett
Throughout the evening, Beck wanted to pull June into his arms and keep her safe from the emotions he could tell were battering her from all sides.
He could only imagine how overwhelmed she must be about the whole thing as she talked about her mother—and about her mother’s husband, the man she had always thought was her father.
She wasn’t quite as pale as when he had first walked into the kitchen, when he had wanted to carry her out of the ranch house and take her home with him.
Loretta wanted to know every detail of June’s life, from her earliest childhood memories to her school experiences to her college life and helping to start the tech company.
“This all feels like a miracle to me,” Loretta said more than once. He wasn’t sure she had taken her gaze away from June’s features through the entire meal, as if memorizing each inch.
“I think it’s wonderful that you’re reading through Dad’s journals,” Alison said, spooning whipped cream onto her dessert crepe. “What better way to find out all his hopes and dreams?”
“He was a fascinating man,” June said. “I wish I’d had the chance to know him.”
Beneath the table, Beck reached for her hand. She sent a startled look in his direction, but to his immense gratification, she turned her hand over and entwined her fingers with his, clinging tightly.
“Do you know anything about your son writing another manuscript betweenPurgatory RiverandBeneath the Dusty Sky?Something that might have been titledThe Forgotten Road?” she asked.
Loretta appeared to consider. “I don’t know. He was very private about his work. And I think he went through something of a creative crisis after all the buzz aboutPurgatory River. He all but disappeared, off on his grand adventures. I can’t tell you how much I worried about him during that time.”
“I believe he may have written a manuscript that he never published,” June said. “He leaves breadcrumbs of information about it sprinkled throughout his journals, and it doesn’t sound anything like his other work.”
“That would be remarkable, if you could find it.”
“We’ve gone through every corner of the cabin with no luck,” Beck said.
“I can’t shake the feeling that the book might give us some answers about what happened between Carson and my... my mother.”
“Did you check his bedroom here?” Loretta asked.
Alison looked confused. “I thought he kept all his writing-related materials at the cabin. He always said he needed to keep a mental and emotional separation between his work life and his home life.”
“He did try to compartmentalize the two, especially after your mother died. But there was always spillover. It was impossible to completely split the two parts of himself.”
“Would you mind if we looked there at some point?” June asked tentatively.
“Of course not. Search all you like. You could have a look tonight, if you wanted to.”
June exchanged a glance with Beck and he could see the spark of excitement rekindle in her eyes. He had to admit he was caught up in the challenge of the search, too.
“Are you sure?” June asked.
“You should probably ask Alison. Everything in the house is hers now.”
They all turned to Alison, who set down her fork. “You can look through anything you want. You don’t even have to ask. That goes for both of you. But do you mind if I skip out on this one?”
“I thought you wanted to help us look,” Beck said.
“I do. If Dad has a missing manuscript somewhere, I want to find it. But to be honest, it’s still hard for me to go into Dad’s room.”
That had been the room where Carson had his cardiac arrest, Beck realized. Ali had been in her own room down the hall when she heard him cry out, then the crash of his fall. She had rushed in to find him on the floor.
