Page 112 of Personal Foul
She doesn’t want you, I remind myself. She’s made that clear.
Already tired from everything that’s happened between us, I let out a long sigh. “What did you want, Charity?”
She tucks her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. Looking all around the entryway, then down at the floor. “I wanted to apologize.”
My eyebrows jump up my forehead. “For?”
Another ragged sigh from her. She lifts a hand in a vague gesture then lets it drop to her side. “Everything?”
“Everything, huh? I’m afraid I’m going to need you to be a little more specific.”
She swallows hard, finally lifting her eyes to mine. “I’m sorry for bailing at the first sign of trouble.”
I rock back on my heels, considering her apology. “Were you always just looking for a way out?” That was the conclusion I came to after thinking about it on Sunday evening. And all day Monday. And all day Tuesday. Basically all week long.
I guess technically it hasn’t even been a full week. It feels like it’s been an eternity. Each day more like a century.
She starts to shake her head, but then stops herself, seeming to really think about my question. “I think,” she begins slowly, “that I never really trusted what was between us. When I heard what your mom said, I figured you’d agree with her. I know you defended me to her at the time, but I thought it was only a matter of time before you started seeing things her way.” She begins pacing, gesturing as she speaks. “Because she’s right. Just being investigated has turned my family’s name into a stain. If you were just going to be an attorney at a law firm, with no political aspirations or connections, at least not the above-board kind, maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal. It could just be another piece of salacious gossip—at least until something better comes along.”
Her shoulders lift in an exaggerated shrug. “But your dad is going to be running for governor. Your family will be under even more scrutiny than normal. And from what you’ve told me, he has plans for higher offices as well. I thought I was doing the right thing by backing out. What was best for both of us.”
A tear slips down her cheek, and it kills me not to wipe it away. She does nothing to acknowledge it, merely facing me, bald-faced and unashamed.
“And have you changed your mind?” I ask.
Glancing away, she shrugs again, pacing back and forth in the entryway. “I’m not sure that I’ve changed my mind, per se. I still think, from your perspective, I’m probably a bad bet. But for whatever reason, you genuinely seem to like me. Even when you were being awful to me, it seemed to be motivated by a desire to have me around. And you’ve apologized for blackmailing me multiple times and done your best to make up for it. From my perspective, it seems stupid to throw all of that away. Especially without giving you the benefit of a conversation.”
She stops pacing and faces me. “So I’m here to apologize. For the way I handled things on Saturday night. And for discounting your right to choose what you want. If you want me, I’m yours.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Charity
Holding my breath, I wait for Dylan’s response. He surveys me impassively from his spot in front of the door, giving nothing away.
Deflated, I eventually breathe again, because with my heart racing, I might pass out if I don’t.
The longer the silence stretches between us, the more certain I am that by pushing him away, I’ve irrevocably damaged our relationship. I knew this was a possibility when I arrived, but I’ve been reminding myself of all the things he’s done with the obvious goal of keeping me around. I let that give me hope. I guess it was a foolish hope in the end.
Just as I’m about to ask him to let me leave, he draws in a long breath, seeming to come to life at last. “If we do this again, I need to know you won’t be constantly on the lookout for a reason to call it quits.”
I force a smile. “You mean like ever? Are you proposing?”
That gets a snort of amusement from him, and the corner of his lips turn up in the impression of a smile. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just mean, if we’re going to do this, we’re doing it for real this time. No fake dating. No putting on a show to convince anyone else. Just you and me together, for as long as we both want to be. Not caring about anyone else’s opinions on whether or not we should be together.”
The fragile blossom of hope in my chest perks up at his words, like a house plant that’s gone too long without water finally getting a drink. “I’ve told everyone everything,” I blurt out before I can think better of it.
His eyebrows tick up and surprise. “Everything?”
“Well,” I hedge, “everything that matters anyway. I told Isabelle about my family, but I left out the part about you blackmailing me. I didn’t think that mattered so much, especially because by the time I told her about our relationship, it was no longer pretend. But I told my sister.”
Shaking his head, he looks up at the ceiling and lets out a soft laugh. “So she hates me now.”
I grin. “I thought you didn’t care about what anyone else thinks anyway.”
“That’s not a no.”
Laughing, I take a chance and step closer to him. “I wouldn’t say she hates you, exactly. Obviously she wasn’t thrilled to find out I had been dating a guy who would blackmail me. But she’s also the reason that I’m here.”
