Page 78 of Trick Play
But that’s impossible.
I still have a final to study for, and then I have to pack up whatever I need for the break. I guess at least it’s not the end of spring semester. I don’t have to pack up everything in this room and move it somewhere else in the middle of my emotional turmoil.
Last year, when my parents swooped in and took over, they did all that for me, my mom taking charge and packing everything. She’s meticulous and organized, so I wasn’t worried she’d break anything or forget something, but I resented the intrusion all the same.
I resented everything, though. Absolutely everything.
At least this time no one’s taking over and making all my choices for me, even if Dani isn’t letting me wallow in grief when there’s shit to do. Even that, though … it’s not the same. She’s informing me she won’t let me make more bad decisions, but she’s not making my decisions for me. She’s just forcefully encouraging me to stay on the path I’d already decided on.
A path that never included Cal in the first place. In fact it was specifically and deliberately devoid of boys and their attached drama.
That was a smart decision. I need to get back to that tough-as-nails chick who decided to take control of her life as best she can, keep her nose to the grindstone so she can get out as soon as possible, and move on.
Cal’s going to be moving on. Soon I’m sure I’ll be little more than a memory, a joke he tells his NFL friends about how he was so twisted up about losing his starting spot his senior year that he tried to get it back by screwing his teammate’s sister in an effort to mess him up.
And they’ll all laugh, even harder since it didn’t work.
But I won’t be the pathetic loser watching him play on TV and telling people I dated a pro football player once, back when we were in college, before he made it big.
Because I’ve watched him practice. Gray only barely edges him out of his spot, and that’s more because Coach Reese favors passing plays and Gray’s passing game is better than Cal’s. But Cal’s running game is stronger, so it’s really a toss-up.
Cal also doesn’t get knocked around in the pocket quite as easily. What he lacks in passing finesse and accuracy—which don’t get me wrong, that isn’t much, and a good coach could bring him up to par in no time, he just hasn’t been at a Division I school his whole college career—he more than makes up for in his ability to stay on his feet long enough to get the play running, even if his linemen fail.
But why am I mooning over Cal and reminiscing about his playing ability?
I’m moving on.
He’s in the past. And I’m focusing on my future.
Yanking my bag closer, I pull out my folder for my world history class and get out the review sheet. It’s been a fairly easy class—mostly lectures, note taking, and Scantron tests—so I’m not worried. But going over the entire semester’s worth of information a few times before tomorrow morning is smart in general and a good distraction from my thoughts.
I don’t get very far before there’s a light knock on the door. Probably someone looking for Dani, wanting to say goodbye or give her a Christmas present before taking off tonight or tomorrow. The dorm is already starting to clear out as people finish their finals, at least the lucky jerks who don’t have any tests tomorrow.
I shouldn’t complain, though. My English class didn’t even have a real final. We turned in a final paper last week and our scheduled “final” was the professor bringing in pastries, juice, and coffee as a farewell party to end the semester.
But when I answer the door, I’m surprised to find Ellie on the other side.
“Oh, good. I was hoping you’d be here,” she says on a relieved sigh, wrapping her arms around me in an even more surprising hug.
I pat her back awkwardly, grateful she doesn’t do more than give me a quick squeeze. “Um, hey. What’s up? Dani’s not back from her two o’clock final yet.”
With a light laugh, Ellie passes me and comes into my room, waving a hand. “I’m here to see you, silly. Not Dani. I mean, if she were here, that’d be fine too, obviously, but she’s going home to Montana for break, and you’ll be here still, right?”
“Yeah. I’ll be staying with my parents.” Where else would I stay, after all? And now that Cal’s out of the picture, I can spend all my time moping around the house, which they’ll be happy about, I’m sure. The only hitch in that plan is Gray. I’m not sure what his plans are. Normally I’d just ask him, but since I’m not speaking to him at the moment …
Ellie brightens. “I’m going to be here for most of the break too.” She opens her mouth, hesitating for a second before continuing. “I’ll be heading home this weekend, but then I’m coming back until right before Christmas Day.” Her face turns disgruntled. “My mom won’t let me do Christmas with Simon’s family.” She rolls her eyes. “Says something about if we were getting married, it’d be different. And staying with him for most of break is bad enough, but she draws the line at missing the holiday entirely when it’s just a few hours’ drive.” Leaning in close, her eyes brighten with glee. “Though they’re predicting a nasty December, so maybe there’ll be a storm and it’ll be too dangerous to drive. Wouldn’t that be great?”
I can’t help chuckling at her strange enthusiasm for a nasty winter storm. “I guess so.”
Shrugging, she waves her hand again. “Anyway, I didn’t come here to ask you to help me petition the weather gods for a storm or anything. I just wanted to make sure you’d be around so we can make plans to hang out.”
“Ellie,” I start, but she shakes her head, cutting me off.
“Nope. Don’t ‘Ellie’ me. I know where you’re going, and I’m not going to let you. We’re friends. I knew you before you ever met my dumb brother. And I’m not going to let him ruin the friendship that we’ve built.”
I open my mouth, wanting to find something to contradict her. Because I’m not sure I’d take my brother’s girlfriend’s side over him. Ex-girlfriend, I mean. Not that Cal and I ever used those terms. And maybe I would actually take someone else’s side against Gray at this particular moment in time.
Shaking my head, I close my mouth and clear my throat. “Why would you choose me over your brother?”
