Page 64 of Trick Play
Ellie glances between my phone and me at the stoplight. “Your brother again?”
I nod.
“He left a voicemail?” It’s a question, but it sounds more like a statement. She can obviously see the notification lighting up the car in the dim early twilight of late November.
“Yeah.”
“You gonna listen to it?”
I look down at my phone again, even though it’s dark now. “Not sure yet.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” The answer comes out hoarse, and I clear my throat, forcing down my anger and frustration. Time and space has made it easier to ignore, but it hasn’t done anything to diminish it. I’m not honestly sure what will.
An apology, maybe. That would be a start, anyway.
When Ellie parks her car in the parking lot by our dorm, she does a little happy dance in her seat for scoring a spot so close to the front. But before climbing out of the car, she lays her hand on my arm and looks me in the eyes, her face suddenly serious. “If you ever do want to talk about what happened, I’m here, alright? I get crazy family dynamics and disappointing expectations.”
I quirk an eyebrow, but she nods, her face earnest. “I’m the black sheep. Cal’s the golden child. Since he wasn’t around, it was less obvious, but I promise that’s the dynamic. I’m the flighty, silly one who can’t make up her mind. He’s focused and serious and Going Places, TM.”
I can’t help laughing at the way she phrases that. Then I let out a sigh and shake my head. “That’s not exactly the dynamic with my family. I mean, kinda, I guess. Gray is also Going Places, TM, and coming back here probably helped with that, but that wasn’t the whole reason he came home.” I sigh again, looking down at my hands, not wanting to get into all the shitty details. I alluded to having trouble in California my freshman year and transferring here, but I didn’t get into why. Ellie was clearly curious, but she didn’t pry. Just like she’s not really prying now. She’s just … trying to be a friend. And maybe I should share, but I’m too tired and emotionally wrung out to go there right now.
Shaking my head, I blow out a breath. “I’m the screwup. And there’s no telling what crazy stupid thing I’ll do next.” I wave my hands around to show how ridiculous I think that is, and Ellie watches me, her mouth pulling down at the corners, her face troubled.
She tilts her head, looking me over. “Aren’t you taking like a bajillion classes this semester?”
I bark out a laugh. “Yeah. Something like that.”
“And you’re doing well in all of them?”
Swallowing, I nod. “So far, yeah.”
“How does that make you a screwup?” she asks, genuinely puzzled.
With a shrug and a sigh, I shake my head again. “That’s me trying to make up for the screwing up I did already. But somehow it isn’t enough. I’m not sure anything will be.”
Ellie squeezes my shoulder, and I offer her a small smile. “Well, you’re enough for me. And that’s all that matters.”
When I laugh, she grins at me, and mood sufficiently lightened, we climb out of the car and wrestle our things across the parking lot and up the stairs to our separate rooms. She waves when we part ways at the top of the stairs, promising to come get me in a few minutes.
When I get to my room, Dani’s already there. She jumps off the couch in our living area and throws her arms around me. Laughing at her exuberance, I drop my backpack and return her hug.
“You’re back,” she says, rocking us back and forth. “I missed you. So fill me in,” she says as she releases me. “Did you do all your homework for the next week plus study for all your finals while you were at your parents’ house?”
“Ha. Not hardly.” I fill her in on the fireworks of the week, from hanging with Cal at the start of the week to ending up at his parents’ house all weekend with his sister.
When I finish, Dani’s eyes are wide. “Wait, wait, wait,” she says. “I have so many questions. First, I thought you and Cal weren’t serious.”
“We’re not. Or we weren’t. Or …” I trail off and shrug.
“Okay,” she says. “Let’s put a pin in that. It sounds like you and he need to have a whole conversation aboutthat.” She waves her hands in big circles in the air around me, and I giggle, because Dani isn’t usually this animated.
She gives me a crooked grin. “Sorry. I was hanging out with my sister back home. She’s a lot more lively than I normally am. It rubs off. But back to you.”
I shake my head. “No, not back to me. Fill me in on your break really quick. Ellie’s coming to get me soon, because we still have to go to her brother’s house and get my car.”
“Uh-huh,” Dani says with a knowing look. “Get your car, huh? And you’re not going to spendanytime with a certain football player we happen to know?” She bats her eyelashes at me, all innocent inquiry.
