Page 28 of Broken Chords
“I want you to.”
The dark gray walkway almost blends in with the grass because the streetlights are few and far between in this neighborhood, largely blocked by mature trees, and Zeke and Jason didn’t turn on the outside light before they left. Hand in hand, Charlie and I head across the grass and up the wooden steps of our peeling front porch. After unlocking the front door, we step inside, enveloping ourselves in darkness.
“Let’s not turn on a light,” Charlie whispers. “Let’s just go to your room and stay in the dark.”
“Why are you whispering?” I whisper back.
With the blinds drawn and not much light coming from outside, I can barely make out her shape, so I don’t see her smiling, even though I know she must be when she laughs. “I don’t know,” she answers, still whispering. “Why are you whispering?”
“Because you are.” I tug on her hand to lead her to my bedroom. Once inside, I close the door behind her, and she backs herself against it, pulling my mouth to hers with startling accuracy. She wraps her arms around my neck, pushing her chest against mine, and I respond, my arms sliding around her back, holding her to me as tightly as I can.
It’s even darker in here with my light blocking curtains, and we operate by feel. Closing my eyes doesn’t even make a difference, but I find myself doing it anyway as my hands roam up and down her back while she hooks a leg around my hip.
We let out matching groans of desire when I push back into her, her back braced on the door as my hands pull her hips against mine, grinding myself into her heat. “God, you feel so good.” Her thin leggings don’t disguise anything about how soft she is.
Her arms fall from my neck, and the next thing I know, her clever fingers are working the leather free from my belt, pulling it out of the loops then yanking the button on my jeans open.
With another low groan, I catch her hands, stilling them just before they dive inside my open fly. I swallow hard a few times. “Not tonight, Charlie.” It costs me to say that, because I want her. So much. But I also don’t want to rush. And tonight was a big night, full of revelations and meeting my family. It’d be easy to get caught up in the moment and go farther than we’re ready for. Because I don’t just want to have sex with Charlie. I want to make love to her. And I want her to make love to me.
I think we’re close. After tonight I’ve basically admitted to myself that I’ve fallen for her. But I’m not a hundred percent sure she’s there with me. I don’t want to take that dive unless I know I’m not alone.
A soft thunk indicates that she’s let her head fall back against the door. “When?”
I swallow again, my worries from before rushing back. Is she going to leave if I hold out for too long? But if she does, if that’s all she wants, then this isn’t the right relationship for us after all. That thought stings, so I decide it doesn’t matter right now. “I don’t know, exactly. Soon, I think.” I hope.
“But not tonight.”
“No.” I release her hands and trace my way up her body so I can find her face, tilting it up so I can kiss her again, gently this time, hoping to tame some of the crazy running through our blood, but not wanting to lose our connection.
She kisses me back, her hands running up my chest, caressing over the fabric of my shirt, then back down, slipping underneath to slide over my bare skin.
When she breaks the kiss, we stay there like that for a moment, her hands on my chest, mine still cupping her jaw. She’s still here. Still with me. She’s not giving up. Yet.
Her soft breath whispers over my face. “Can I … I want to feel you. Explore you. Make you feel good. I know you’re not ready to go all the way. And that’s fine. But I need …”
When she trails off, I can imagine her biting her lip in uncertainty, so I run my thumb across her mouth for confirmation. She surprises me by opening her lips and sucking my thumb into her mouth. Her tongue circles it, teasing, and I suck in a breath. “What do you need?”
She releases my thumb with a pop audible in the dark stillness of my room. “I need to show you how I feel about you.”
Once again she’s taken my breath away. I nod, but realize she probably can’t tell, so I clear my throat. “Okay.” It still comes out huskier than I planned.
She pushes me away a little. “Let’s go to your bed.”
Shuffling back to my bed on the other side of the room, I keep her with me, pulling her down on top of me, sealing my mouth to hers once more. She opens for me, sucking my tongue into her mouth like she did with my thumb just a second ago. Her fingers tickle my sides as she bunches my shirt, pulling it up to my armpits, breaking the kiss so she can push it over my head.
Before I can pull her back down for another kiss, her fingers slide into the waistband of my underwear. “Lift up,” she says softly.
“Charlie …”
“I know. I promise, we won’t do anything you don’t want to do. But … please? You said okay. Let me make you feel good.”
In answer I lift my hips, letting her strip me bare, and even though she’s barely a shadow, I feel vulnerable like this. When her hands run up my thighs, I flinch.
“So jumpy. Relax. This is a good thing.” She rubs them up and down like she’s getting me accustomed to her touch. Which is funny, because we’ve done a lot of touching in the last few weeks. Even so, it takes a conscious effort to relax and give myself over to her hands. I have a feeling I know what she wants to do, and even though I want her hands on me, I’m not sure how far she wants to take it.
When my thigh muscles soften, she slides her hands even higher, to my hips, up to my abs, her fingers smoothing over the fuzz leading from my belly button down.
“I’ve always thought happy trails are sexy.” Then she leans down and places a kiss in the middle of my torso, a few inches above my belly button. My dick twitches when her shirt brushes against it.
