Page 56 of Never Ever Getting Back Together
Oh, I’m ready all right. I am going to pretend the water is Jordy’s face, and my oar is an oar.
“Get set.”
“You’ve got this,” Skye whispers. I grip my oar harder.
“And… go!”
I paddle furiously, steering around Kim and Lauren as quickly as I can. I picture myself on the softball field, pushing my body as far and as fast as it can go. My breathing comes fast and heavy, and my arms burn as I paddle faster, faster,faster,experimenting with the angles of the paddle until I find the right way to strike the water to propel myself along.Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.Right into Jordy’s face, harder, and faster, andharder.This imagination exercise was agreatidea.
The hum of an engine grows louder as a speedboat holding one of the camera operators follows us. The boat churns up waves in its wake, and my kayak bounces over them roughly, icy cold droplets hitting my face as I go, but I’ve got tunnel vision. I’m going to win. I’m going to spend the night with Jordy. I’ll be able to undo all the damage I did last week.
I hit the buoy first, letting out a breathless cry of victory as I do. Navigating around it isn’t too bad, either, and suddenly I’m on the second lap, heading back to the pier, and I can see what has been happening behind me.
Skye and Kim are neck and neck a few feet back, followed by Lauren, then Francesca. Somewhere farther behind them still is Perrie.
Something out of the corner of my eye makes me turn back around. Kim is gaining on me, the nose of her kayak starting to draw even with mine.No.I need to secure this romantic night alone with my worst enemy at all costs. I try to push myself even faster, but I’m already operating at max speed, and my arms are starting to feel all leaden and tingly. So, as hard as I try to hold my lead, I watch helplessly as the distance between the fronts of our kayaks grows shorter andshorter, and Kim touches the pier with a victory cry two seconds before I do.
Skye pulls in beside me a heartbeat later, panting so hard her breath is hoarse. “So close,” she forces out. “You did great.”
“Not great enough,” I gasp.
Kim, who’s been helped onto the pier, hugs Jordy for the cameras. “I just thought about spending the night with you,” she says to him. “And it’s like I doubled in speed.”
Jordy grimaces. “Wow, Kim, that’s… so sweet. Wow. Yeah.”
The others are pulling into the pier now, and I look around to find Perrie, only to spot her fifty feet out, hunched over, gripping her oar with one hand and her head with the other.
One of the camera operators has zeroed in to film her. “Hey!” I call to the crew as my kayak is yanked over to be tied back to the pier. “Don’t just film her. She needs help. Hey!”
My shouting catches Wai’s attention, and once she spots Perrie, she jumps into her kayak to go rescue her.
“Can you untie me?” I ask the crew member who’s tethering me to the pier with a thick rope. “I wanna make sure she’s okay.”
“She’s fine,” he says. “Wai’s got her.”
Perrie doesn’t lift her head from her hands as Wai ties their kayaks together and tows her back in. I let the crew help-slash-unglamorously-hoist me onto the pier, and watch from the edge of it as Perrie’s brought in.
“I’m fine,” she insists between rounded breaths once she’s back on dry wood. “I’m just… really nauseous…”
“Come on, let’s sit down,” I say. The other girls, who’ve been cheering for Kim to the camera as instructed, look over to us as one. I guess someone noticed Perrie’s face. I realize too late that the producers have been filming an “everyone be a good sport and congratulate Kim, because even thoughyou’re all fighting viciously for the same unworthy man, sisterhood isn’t dead” scene without me. Great. I bet they’ll besureto mention in a voiceover that I wasn’t there because I was with a friend, and not because I was bitter at the close loss. For sure. Definitely.
I am so screwed. Skye’s plan had better work.
We make a beeline for the grassy area near the shore and plonk down. A minute later, Isaac brings a bottle of water over to us, and Perrie sips it pathetically.
“I’m humiliated,” she moans when her breathing finally evens out. “I didn’t even get five seconds in before I thought I was gonna be sick, and that freaking camera guy was filming me. I thought I was gonna throw up oncamera.”
“They’reassholes,” I hiss. “I didn’t even see you pull over! I’m so sorry. I would’ve helped you.”
She shakes her head. “You were focused on the race.”
No. I was focused on slapping Jordy’s imaginary face with my oar. “I’m still sorry.”
“Nothing you could’ve done anyway.”
By the pier, Gwendolyn is saying something to the group of girls. From the few words I can make out, they’re getting ready to do promo shots for the episode.
“Tell them you don’t want to get back in the water,” I say quickly. “You and I can pose on the pier together or something.”
