Page 37 of Never Ever Getting Back Together
Haaaaaaah, this asshole is pushing it. I am going to ignore the bi dig, because I am too mature for this bullshit. Sometimes. “I am being as honest as Ipossiblycan right now. I am completely uninterested in what you do with the other girls, Jordy.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s what we’re all here for, right? ‘Fuck Monogamy: The Reality Show’?” I ask.
All of a sudden, Jordy doesn’t look so pissed off anymore. He… looks like he’s enjoying himself. And not in an “I love to watch you suffer” sort of way. “You’re giving me sass,” he says slowly.
“I am just. Telling. The truth.”
He takes a step closer, placing himself right in my space. “Uh-huh,” he says, dropping his voice down low. “Well, as it happens, I’ve missed you telling it like it is.”
The camera lens zooms in. I glance at it, distracted, and that, plus being kinda sorta drunk, I guess, makes me realize way too late that Jordy is leaning in to kiss me. I jump back just in time, and he misses. He widens his eyes, shocked and indignant.
“No?” he asks, glancing at the camera. I know what he must be thinking, but he doesn’t have to worry. The only way this is making it into the show is if they can cut it in a way that makes me look evil for pulling back. Stress less, Jordy Miller, your ego is safe.
“Sorry,” I say. “I’m feeling kind of sick. How about a hug?”
“A hug I can do,” he says.
He pulls me in close, blocking my lips from the camera’s view with his head, and that’s when I whisper, “Honestly? You can try every day for the next seven weeks if you want, but I amnevergoing to kiss you again. You are a pathetic asshole, and you will be doing me the biggest favor of my life when I leave tomorrow.”
He stiffens as I speak, then we pull apart with identical, false smiles. “Honestly?” he says, in the same way I said it. “I’m glad we had this talk. It’s been illuminating.”
“That’s great,” I say, picturing him dying in a fire.
“You have changed,” he says, tipping his head to one side and nodding. “And I think that might be a good thing.”
It’s… notexactlywhat I expected him to say. I stand wordlessly, trying to figure out if I misheard him, and he smirks and saunters off. Only moments later, Perrie comes to find me. “Hey,” she says. “The producers said we’re wrapping up. We can take theseheelsoff.”
“Oh, thank god, thank Jesus, thank Christ.” I sigh, unbuckling my straps where I stand while holding onto Perrie for balance. The grass is cool and soothing under my bare feet.
“See, this is why we need to normalize sneakers as formal wear,” Perrie says as I remove the other shoe. “Anyway, what did Jordy say to you?”
“Nothing interesting.”
“So, it’s a secret?”
“No.” I grunt as I straighten. “I mean it was nothing interesting. He just said he heard I’ve been trash-talking him.”
“Oh my god, of course they told him. Great use of the girl code, everyone. What did you say?”
“Not much. I mean, Iwastrash-talking him, so.”
Perrie giggles. “Well, yeah, but he doesn’t need to know that.”
“He is shit, Perrie,” I say. “A heaping pile of shit. And the sooner he learns that about himself, the better the world will be.”
“Okay, Miss I’m-Gonna-Drink-Half-the-Bar-and-Spill-the-Tea. I think it’s bedtime for both of us.”
“I wishyouwere my roommate. Can you swap with yucky Skye?”
“I would if I could, sweetie.”
By the time we’re assisted in undressing and removing the mic-packs, it’s approximately holy-shit-it’s-how-late o’clock. Skye goes to the bathroom to take her makeup off before bed, which gives me a few minutes alone with my iPad.
I send a message to Mom:Wish you where hghn
Rosie:I love you I love you Jordy id a ducking duckface I MEANT FUCK I sdai what I said pgpne
