Page 48 of If This Gets Out
We could become known as the band that all secretly hate each other, only tied together by our contracts.
I roll my neck, and sense him watching me.
The elevator chimes.
“After you,” he says, smiling graciously.
I ignore the fire in my chest and walk out.
Down the hall, Erin is waiting in front of her room. She opens the door for us, and we file in. The air feels heavy and gloomy. The MacBook set up on the desk may as well be a guillotine.
“Take a seat,” says Erin, her face grim.
Ruben and I go across the room, and sit down in front of the computer.
On the screen, at a desk, is Geoff.
“I’m assuming you know why you’re here?” he asks, his voice deep and gravelly.
Neither of us say anything for a moment too long. It speaks volumes.
“I’m sorry,” says Ruben.
Geoff’s eyebrows slant down. Even though he’s in a different country right now, I still start to sweat. If he decides to stop supporting us, we could fade away and become a band the general public only vaguely remembers.
“Sorryisn’t good enough in this case. You need to be better. Let me make this very clear, you two are in deep shit. You both understand that, right?”
“I do,” says Ruben.
“Definitely,” I say.
“No, I don’t think you do,” says Geoff, his voice rising.“You two fucked up. Youhaveto promise me you’ll get whatever is going on under control. You have to.”
“We will,” says Ruben.
“Seriously, we will.”
“I know you will. You’ve worked too hard to jeopardize everything now.” He looks into the camera, and it feels for a moment like he’s made eye contact with me directly. “Think about Jon and Angel. How could you let them down like this? You’re a band, that means you’re supposed to work together.”
I bow my head, because he’s right.
“And think about everyone that works for you, trying to makeyourdream a reality. Do you even care about them? Do you care that they might lose their jobs because of this? If the band goes down, they go down with you.”
“Of course we do,” says Ruben.
“Then you need to act like it. Because I’m telling you the truth, if you don’t get this under control, people will lose their jobs. Galactic have been calling nonstop, telling me to fix this mess.”
I can barely breathe.
I know I have a brain that attacks itself constantly, which means I never know when the negative thoughts I have are the truth or not. Questioning them is one of the best things my child psychologist taught me to do.
But now…
Geoff just confirmed some of my worst fears.
The band is in danger because of me. So many people could lose their jobs just because I kissed Ruben and didn’t handle it well. I might have caused the end of the band.
My eyes start to sting, but I manage to rein them in. Geoff can’t stand tears.
