There’s a bell, I ring it, listening to it chiming inside. I hear footsteps and feel my heart leap, with my luck lately, I’d expected her to be out.
A chain rattles and then the door is swung open.
That it’s not Cheryl standing in the opening takes me a moment to process. It takes me a further few seconds to digest what I’m seeing. It’s like looking in a fucking mirror or would have been two decades and more back.
The youth staring back at me is equally open mouthed, and I take a moment to analyse exactly what I’m seeing. He’s got green eyes, his nose is mine, as is the way his mouth curves. Fuck, but he’s got the same freckles which immediately makes me feel sorry for the kid. His cheekbones, though, are more pronounced, and his face on the whole is more slender.
A tide of rage rises inside me.This is my kid.
He’s the first to speak, just two words out of his mouth confirms the situation and damns us all on new paths.
“You’re Red.”
“Who’s at the door?” Cheryl’s voice sounds light as if she’s no idea her whole world’s about to turn upside down. “Is it Sue? If it is, tell her I’ll be ready in a bit.”
“It’s not Sue,” my mini-me says, but adds no further explanation.
I’m yet to speak, I’ve not recovered from the shock.
“Then who is—” Cheryl’s head appears, and hell, her face goes completely white. Her hand grasps the doorjamb as if she knows she needs it to support her. “Zeke, go to your room.”
“Mom?”
“Zeke. Your room. Now.” Her voice takes the sternest tone only a mom can.
Taking one last look at me, the kid reluctantly turns. I notice Cheryl giving him a supportive squeeze to his shoulder as he walks past as if to comfort him.What the fuck has she told him about me?That I’m the Devil personified? What excuse has she made for me not being in his life?And why the fuck didn’t she try to find me?
It’s that that I start with. “Were you ever going to tell me?” I snarl, pushing my way in through the door.
She doesn’t try to deny that she knows what I’m talking about, doesn’t say his looks are just coincidence. Instead, she says what I know is the truth.
“How the fuck could I? When all I knew was your name was Red, and that you were heading south?” She accompanies her statement with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We’ve done just fine. Now you can turn around and forget all about us.”
Fuck. She never knew me at all. “I can’t do that,” I spit out, trying to keep a rein on my temper, consciousmy sonis in the next room. “If I’d known then, I’d have come back and supported you. Fuck, Cheryl, I had no idea. I didn’t even think—” Wraith’s words come into my head.Never assume a woman’s protected. And that’s exactly what I’d done. Not that I think it was any trick, it was just a stupid mistake, by a pair old enough to know better, but who didn’t.
I’d never broached the conversation, but neither had she. And she was left carrying the burden for fifteen years.
“If I knew where you were, I would have told you.” The positivity in her voice tells me what she’s said is the truth.
I go to the window, lean my elbow on the wall, and gaze outside through unfocused eyes. My other fist I pump against the wall. “All that damn wasted time,” I say half to myself, half to her. I hit the paintwork a couple more times, then swing around. “All these years I’ve been wondering whether we would have made it. You, Cheryl, have always been on my mind. Cheryl, my fuckin’ peril. My downfall.” Shaking my head, I scoff, “You have no idea how I’ve thought about you, dreamed about you. Had visions of us being together, raising a family. Can you imagine how I feel knowing you’ve had my kid all this time? A kid I knew nothing about, didn’t see born, didn’t see take his first steps…” My voice trails off, and hell, I have to wipe my eyes.
MC prezes don’t cry. I’m sure there’s some unwritten law about it, but I’m doing a good approximation now.
Cheryl doesn’t speak, doesn’t say a word, but I can tell I’ve astonished her. There’s a wealth of sadness in her eyes. Then, in front of me, she seems to gather herself together.
I’m not sure what I expect, whether she’s going to welcome me with open arms and suggest somehow we’ll try to make up for lost time. Or, at the least, she’ll call her,ourson, and introduce us properly.
What I don’t anticipate is for her to stand, go to the door, and open it. “Well, you know now, Red. We’ve done great without you. We don’t need you in our lives. Please go.”
Go?Is she fucking serious? My temper flares, I do indeed approach the door, but only to wrench it out of her grasp and slam it shut.
“You want me to go? Walk away, pretend this never happened?” I rake my hands through my hair, the action stopping me from using said appendages to throttle her. “You think I can just turn my back now? You won’t even give me a chance to know myson?”
She visibly flinches but holds her ground. “You’re in an MC, Red. Hell, you’re the fucking man in charge. Believe me when I say you’ll be no good for us. All you’ll do is hurt our child.”
“I would never hurt him!” I yell.
Her voice is deathly quiet. “Oh, you will. You won’t be able to help yourself.”
What the fuck?“Who the hell do you think I am, Cheryl?”
She tosses back her hair and places her hands on her hips. “Oh, I know exactly who, and what you are, Red. You’re the prez of the Satan’s Devils MC.”
