“Really and truly. I want this.”
She bites her lip. “You’ve only seen me at my worst, when I’ve been so weak and helpless.”
I rush to correct her. “Amy, I’ve seen you so fucking strong. You’ve suffered something unimaginable, yet are starting to come out the other side. Just look how you gave me your trust just then. That takes strength.” I give a little shake of my head. “Submissives aren’t weak, they’re strong. Willing to take that leap of faith and put themselves into the hands of their Dom.”
“What if I never want to be restrained again, even with you?”
“Then we’ll find other things to enjoy. And I won’t need ropes or handcuffs to keep you in place. You’ll do that because you enjoy doing the will of your Dom.”
She snuggles back into me again, I relish the feeling of her against me. She toys with the buttons of my button-up shirt. “I suppose you’ve virtually moved in already, Xander. Wouldn’t be too much of a change.”
“Except you never know, I might give you my cock now and again.” I say it light-heartedly, but don’t want to hide my desires from her. It’s been getting harder and harder to stop my hands from straying. I haven’t wanted to push and have been respecting her boundaries not to touch her.
“You’ll be my Dom, I’ll be your sub.” She sounds a little uncertain.
“Will that be enough for you?”
She’s biting her lip. “Is this an arrangement or a relationship?”
I know what I’m capable of, and I won’t mislead her. “An arrangement. As for anything else, we’ll see where if takes us.”
I’m the recipient of an intense stare. Knowing I’ve laid a lot on her, I cradle the back of her head with my hand. “Just think about it, Amy. I don’t need your answer now.”
A little nod.
I hope she says yes. I’d enjoy having a sub to come home to, one I know I could be a good Dom too. Amy needs a strong man in her life, and that, for however long it lasts, is what I could be for her.
Chapter Seven
Heart
Iwas torn, torn between acting as normal and going out on the Christmas day ride or staying and talking with Amy. I’d have preferred the latter, but that would have sent a loud signal to Marc screaming that something was definitely wrong in the life of the girl who’s she’s treated as her daughter for almost twenty-four years. I haven’t missed a Christmas ride since I was patched in, and my clever wife would suspect I now possessed knowledge of what was the root cause of our eldest daughter’s obvious unhappiness. She’d be desperate to know, believing she could help. But this is Amy’s secret, one she can share or keep to herself. Fuck, I’m having a hard enough time processing what had gone on and am well able to understand why she tried to keep everything buried.
So to avoid suspicion, I keep to my normal festive routine, satisfying myself with a few quick words so Amy wasn’t left scared I’d criticise the path she had chosen.
I am having difficulty processing everything, and hopefully getting some wind in my face will give me time to think how I should approach the fuller conversation with Amy. I’m not blind to my own weaknesses, my temper’s quick to ignite, and I tend to jump straight in with both feet. My daughter deserves better than that. Somehow I’ve got to tamp down the anger of what’s happened to her. She’s fragile at the moment and could easily misinterpret any rage as fury at her. When I talk to her I’ve got to be calm and supportive. That will be hard.
My daughter’s been raped, for fuck’s sake. My hands grip the handlebars hard, and I’m glad Marc’s riding her own bike. If she was behind me she’d be able to feel the tension in my body.
I’d left Amy with Xander. The talk Drummer and I had had with him had left me with a sense that he’d do nothing to hurt her, but instead is doing his level best to bring her back to an even keel. While he’s not the type of man I’d normally brush shoulders with, I’m now convinced we have a common interest at heart. Amy’s happiness.
Will they end up together? If what I’ve seen is the true man inside him, as a parent I probably couldn’t wish for anyone better. A respected man with an incredible job. But it does irk me that he hasn’t done more to sort Flint out for her. I, or any of my brothers, would have left her rapist beaten and bloody by now. But perhaps that’s just our way, and not that of others.
Still, I think where it’s within his abilities, he will protect her. Will he make her happy? That’s for her to decide and not me. What concerns me about their potential union is the thought she’ll never be returning to the compound except for the brief visits that have become the norm over the years. I’d always hoped she’d eventually get fed up with her life in Phoenix and come home. Nurses can work anywhere, can’t they?
In the middle of the Christmas ride out, we stop off to let the old ladies stretch their legs, men to have a piss or just shoot the shit. Which is what it would appear I’m doing with Drummer while Sam and Marc are chatting, standing next to their bikes. But instead of chewing fat, we’re having a serious discussion.
“This Flint needs to be taken out,” I growl.
“I agree. Need Mouse or Wizard on board to track him down. See what we’re dealing with first.”
I can’t deny that he’s right, but I hate the thought of my brothers knowing her story. I glance around, shiver a little and pull my jacket around me. “What do you really think of this BDSM shit, Drum?”
“Each to their own. Xander made a good observation. His description of a dominant personality could describe many of us.” His eyes fall on the various couples standing next to their bikes before coming back to meet mine. He waves his hand toward the people he’d been viewing. “Who d’you think wears the trousers in our relationships?”
I can’t resist, “Er, Sam?” I deserve the clout around the ear.
“Well, okay, what about Joker and Lady then?”
