Page 9 of To Hell With It
‘When was the last time you went abroad?’
‘I went to England with Mum and Dad.’
‘When you were eight,’ she said flatly.
‘It still counts.’
‘Jesus, Pearl. Don’t you want to see a bit of the world?’
‘I have my world right here.’
‘There’s more out there than bloody Drangan.’
‘Well, go and see it then.’
‘You’re a stubborn mare. You know you’re going to end up buried in this very graveyard having never left it.’
‘What would my gravestone say?’
‘Born and Dead in Drangan.’
‘Very creative. Will you do my eulogy?’ I asked sarcastically.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I won’t be living anywhere near here.’
‘Won’t you come back for my funeral?’ I pouted.
‘No.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you wouldn’t deserve it.’
‘Wouldn’t you come back for my wake at least?’
She shook her head.
‘But you love a party.’
‘It wouldn’t be a party. It would be as dull as your life.’
‘Anyway, you’re going to die before me.’ I took a bite of my cheese and pickle sandwich.
‘Oh, yeah, how do work that one out?’
‘Because I’m going to keep walking next time I see a red car.’
ChapterSix
Carmel has slept with most of the men in Drangan under the age of forty (not that there are many men under the age of forty in the village). I don’t think she really cares how old they are as long as she gets her leg over. She has been like that since before I can remember and she probably won’t ever change.
Carmel is single in her head, but she’s actually been datingPoor Richie(that’s what me and Una call him) for the past six months. I can’t for the life of me work out why Poor Richie stays with her. Every Friday night she’ll be in the pub draped over some unfortunate soul who looks as awkward as we all feel, but no one ever says anything.
I like to think that there is some other reason why she is the way she is: it was her self-esteem, she wasn’t loved growing up, she came from a broken home. But the truth is Carmel is the most confident person I have ever met, she has everything given to her on a plate (she has an allowance for god’s sake) and her parents are still very much together.
