Page 80 of To Hell With It
The sound of crickets filled my ears, or something like that, I wasn’t sure what the noise was to be honest, but it was deafening and all around me. It wasn’t until I got closer to the trees that I saw them clinging to the branches – giant bright green bugs that stuck half out of brown shell-like bodies, like they were mid-hatching. I pulled out my phone, zoomed in, and took a photo, then scrolled to Niall’s number.
What the hell is this?
I attached the picture.
He took a moment to reply.
Looks like a cicada to me.
Do they bite? There are loads of them here.
No.
Why is it coming out of its own body?
They live under the ground as nymphs.
Do they come out all horny then?!
What do you mean?
Nymphs! Like nymphomaniacs?
No, they come out after nine years and then leave their old-self behind – they’ve been around since the dinosaur period.
So are they mini dinosaurs?
No.
I like the idea of them leaving their old self behind. They’re a bit like me.
Why would you want to leave your old-self behind?
It’s just a metaphor. I was there, now I’m here…
How’s ‘here’ going for you?
Not great at the moment.
How come?
My wallet was stolen.
Oh no, what happened?
I got a lift from a girl and she stole it. But I’m going to get it back.
How are you going to do that?
I don’t know, I haven’t thought that bit through yet. Probably break into her van as I’ve found out where she works.
That’s illegal, Pearl, you can’t do that.
Stealing someone’s wallet is illegal, Niall.
Be careful.
I will. How’s the shop going and the new girl?
