Page 56 of To Hell With It
‘I did it every morning on Omanu Beach.’
‘Weren’t you scared camping there on your own?’
‘I probably should have been, but I was young and free and a bit wild. Like you.’
‘I wouldn’t say I’m wild.’
‘We’re all wild at heart, dear,’ Bunty said, and her eyes sparkled.
‘I’ve never been anywhere this far before.’
‘Well, you’re going somewhere now. Who are you going to see?’
‘Someone I met, back at home. He’s from New Zealand.’
‘Boyfriend?’
‘No.’ I laughed and I suddenly felt ridiculous.
‘Potential boyfriend?’
‘Maybe. He doesn’t know I’m coming.’
‘Travelling to the other side of the world to surprise someone special.’ She grinned. ‘Sounds pretty wild to me.’
The sound of a ding-dong stopped us chatting, followed by a crackle of a microphone and the air stewardess with the crinkle-free face appeared in front of us. She looked straight ahead, and stood as frozen as her face, then right on cue started to move to the pre-recorded message.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the stewardesses in the aisle for your flight safety briefing. There are six emergency exits on this aircraft. You will find them at the front, middle, and back of the plane, here, here and here. Please ensure you are familiar with the exit closest to you.’
I watched her hands move gracefully in time with the voiceover. But I had already clocked and counted the rows to my exit and worked out everyone else’s because who knew how far I’d be thrown if the plane nosedived.
‘Please ensure your bags are secure, either above your heads or under the seats in front of you. Please switch off all electronic devices and keep your seatbelts fastened until otherwise instructed. In the very rare occurrence that the cabin suffers low air pressure, oxygen masks will drop from above you, stay calm and place the mask over your face, like this.’
She put the mask on with ease and I wondered if it might smudge her flawless complexion but of course it didn’t, she was as perfect as her skin.
‘Make sure you put your own mask on before attending to your children. In the unlikely event of an emergency landing?—’
‘We will all die,’ I muttered under my breath.
‘—life jackets can be found under your seats. Emergency lighting in the aisles will lead you to your closest exit. Please do take a moment to read the safety card in the seat pocket in front of you.’
Ding-Dong.
I saw the flash of seatbelt lights above my head, heard the clicks as passengers buckled up, and not long after, felt the motion of going backwards or forwards, I couldn’t tell. The whirring sound of something outside, or inside – again, I couldn’t tell – got louder and faster and then a rumble and a low growl vibrated around me.
I pinched my thumb and finger together, because Mairéad said if I felt pain then I would focus on that instead of my thoughts, only it didn’t work and all I could think about was a fire starting and the plane blowing up and would I wait for Bunty or leave her there to burn and run to my exit?
‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, Bunty on fire.’ I muttered to myself. ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, Bunty begging me to help her, I’m going to hell.’ I took another deep breath. ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, burnt Bunty. Trees, trees, trees. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten?—’
Ding-Dong.
‘Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. I would like to welcome you aboard flight 316 to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Our flying time is fourteen hours, forty minutes, set to be cruising at an altitude of 38,000 feet. We are expected to land on schedule. The weather in Kuala Lumpur is currently sunny, highs of thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit. Once again, welcome aboard. Please enjoy your flight.’
‘There’s a fire blanket under your seat, dear.’ Bunty leant in to tell me.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Under your seat, the fire blanket.’ She pointed down.
