Page 59 of Seven Rules for a Perfect Marriage
Clay takes a moment to compose himself. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him look shocked. ‘Then there’s not much we can do in terms of arguing that it’s defamatory or libellous,’ he says evenly.
‘Okay.’ I nod.
‘So then I think it’s going to be about image rehabilitation. Admitting that you’ve had a bit of a time of it, that the bootcamp was as much about you and Jack working on your marriage as anything else. We do a post about how you’ve never pretended not to have fights; we say that your fertility situation is private and personal.’ I wince at his words. ‘Which is entirely true,’ he carries on. ‘And we distract with this Verity girl.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘We push that she came on the retreat, abused your hospitality and trust; that her marriage is obviously in a real state; that she was jealous of you and exploited some admittedly real struggles that you’re both having, and that she took it public to try and promote herself, to make a quick buck.’
‘I don’t think she was jealous,’ I say weakly. ‘I think she just needed the money. She told Jack she wants a divorce and she needs money to leave her husband and build a new life for her and the kids.’
‘Would you have done that? When you were really broke?’
‘I don’t know what I’d have done in her situation.’
‘You’re too bloody soft,’ Clay says, ruffling my hair like I’m his teenage child. ‘You need to get a stomach for this stuff. We’re not going to make you as famous as I want you to be without breaking a few eggs.’
‘That’s a very confusing metaphor,’ I say, pulling a sofa cushion to my chest. ‘But we need to think of another plan. I don’t want to make Verity the villain.’
‘Okay,’ he says. ‘Leave it with me. I’m going to leave you to watch something while I do a proper damage assessment, and then I’m coming back. All right?’
I want to resist because I’m in my thirties and don’t need to be treated like a small child, but I’m too tired and sad and angry. ‘All right.’
He hands me the remote control and doesn’t even roll his eyes when I open Netflix and put the first series ofGossip Girlon. He disappears into his study and I lie on the sofa, watching the faces on the screen, wondering how long we can pay the mortgage for with what’s in the bank, whether I will be able to keep seeing my lovely therapist, whether I can still have my gym membership, whether I’ll still be able to pay for my dad to have his hip replaced privately. The list of things we need to pay for goes on, and on and on. Or maybe Clay will come back and say everything’s over, and then the list will have to be cut short. I wish I could call my mum.
An hour later, when Blair and Serena are fully on the outs, Clay comes back. I jump up, like he’s coming out of the operating theatre to tell me how the surgery on a loved one went.
‘What?’ I ask.
‘Mixed,’ Clay says. ‘The publishers still want book two. They want to discuss acknowledging this in the book but we can come to that later.’
‘What about the Americans?’
‘They’re not at their desks yet. You haven’t signed any paperwork, worst luck, so they might try and reduce the amount they were offering, but I’ll do my best.’
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘What else?’
‘The mental health app and the laundry people don’t care, they want to keep working with you.’
I do some sums in my head. That means we can pay our tax bill for this year, and keep up our mortgage payments, but not much else.
‘There’s a couples’ therapy brand who want to talk about a partnership, which is good.’ He sees my expression. ‘Okay, it’s not good, but it’s something.’
‘What’s the bad news?’ I ask tentatively.
‘The vitamins and supplements brand are pulling it; I think the fertility stuff is a worry for them.’
‘Sure,’ I say, trying to sound fine. ‘Makes sense.’
‘And your next appearance onMorning Chathas been cancelled. They said they’ll pick up the discussion about a regular slot at some point.’
I sit up slightly. ‘Well, that’s good, I guess.’
Clay looks at me pityingly. ‘That’s showbiz for “you’re dumped”, I’m afraid.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yeah. So now we wait and see. It might be that other outlets follow, orMorning Chatmight just be being over cautious because we’re in the eye of the storm right now, and come crawling back next month. It could be either.’
