Page 140 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions
George choked. “Must you flirt with my mother?”
I gave her a wink, and she tittered. “I must.”
When I pressed my chilly water bottle against the back of George’s neck, he flinched.
“Asshole,” he muttered, reaching back to pinch my nipple,hard. I laughed in disbelief, batting him off and rubbing my chest with a pained groan.
“Jesus, you’ve got like—super aim. That was a direct hit.”
“It’s like his superpower,” Joe frowned, rubbing his chest in commiseration, like he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Huh.
“I didn’t know you were a bully,” I took a long sip of water. I really had been parched. George scowled at me.
“I’m not a bully.”
“Just like you’re not a hypocrite.”
Wow. That was a new level of scowl. Scowl 2.0. I was proud of bringing that one out of him, actually.
“You and June never messed with each other like that?” George questioned.
“She bleached all my underwear once?” I frowned, then snorted, because the memory was honestly hilarious.
“How the hell does that happen?”
“She was super annoyed that our boxers kept getting mixed up. I wore hers to football practice one too many times and she figured if she ‘marked’ all of mine, I’d never get confused again.”
“And did it work?”
“Of course it worked! All my underwear was mutilated. I never made the same mistake.” I shuddered. “Figured if I did, my ass was next—so…” I shrugged.
“I amactuallyhorrified.”
George did not look horrified.
He looked entertained.
“Bleach yourass?” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re telling me you think June would be vindictive enough to physically go in and…oh god.No. I don’t want to picture it. And why your ass of all things? Isn’t that extreme?”
Now it was my turn to be freaked out.
He was right. Picturing June creeping into my room in the middle of the night like the evil gremlin she was with a tube of ass bleach was just—no.No. “Fuck. No! I meant more like, she’d replace my soap—didn’t you ever read that article about the Nair in a shampoo bottle? Like…likethat. Not… Oh god. I didn’t mean she’d be all up in my—oh god. Ew. Ew. Ew.” The more I thought about it, the more awful the thought became. “Why did you put that thought in my head?! I was innocent. Now I need brain bleach. That’s seriously diabolical. You’ve got an evil mind, Georgie Porgie.Evil.”
George laughed.
It was myfavoritelaugh.
Bright and happy.
Squawking and awkward, like he was choking on the sound—too embarrassed to be loud but unable to help himself. “That’s what you get for calling me a bully.”
“You’re saying this waspremeditated?!” I gasped in mock offense. “God, you really are a bully.”
He laughed harder.
Suddenly, my justified disgust was no longer important. The more over the top I acted, the harder George cackled. Like a mad scientist or some shit.
Cute-cute-cute.
