Page 132 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions
The more flushed I became, the more eager Joe and Mom were to taunt me. When Lacey entered the room a second later, a third griddle in her arms, I knew I was fucked. Lacey knew how to use her mouth like a goddamn weapon.
“Why are you all smiling?” she asked. “Except George.”
“George gotlaidlast night,” Joe informed her at the same time Mom said, “George made a joke.” They stared at each other for a beat, then laughed.
“Georgewould really like it if you all stopped talking about him,” I said.
“George should not use third person if he wants the teasing to stop,” Lacey said. She set the griddle she was carrying in the only empty spot left on the counter and turned to look at me.
“George is—I mean,Iam leaving,” I said—though…that would mean abandoning my eggs, and they were almost done.
“You’re acting like getting laid is a big deal,” Lacey said. “Is it abigdeal, George? Was itthatgood?”
That question made me pause—which in turn made the room explode with excitement.
“I knew setting them up was a good idea!” Mom sounded far too innocent for a demon. Because she was one. Just like Joe and Lacey. Because I was in Hell.Thiswas Hell. It had to be. Otherwise myownmother wouldn’t be gossiping about my sex life with my two younger siblings.
She turned her attention to Joe and Lacey, ignoring me entirely. “I thought they’d be compatible. You know…thatway.”
“Why the hell are you making hypotheses about my sexual preferences?” I squawked.
“We talk about it all the time,” Lacey replied, dead-toned.
“What thefuck?” I gasped.
“When we have our meetings,” Joe added, like I hadn’t spoken at all.
“Your…meetings?” I was being baited, but I couldn’t seem to get myself to ignore them, or leave, despite my protests. Vaguely, I recalled Roderick mentioning something similar at the barbecue. He’d said he was a “member”. At the time, I’d thought nothing of it. But now…I was realizing maybe his comment hadn’t been random.
Despite how horrible, awful, horrible this was—it was also…nice to be here with my family, even if they were hellions.
I’d missed this.
And before I’d let them see beneath my “perfect” exterior, we hadn’t had a single moment like it. Maybe…vulnerability was the price I had to pay to be close to them.
“What meetings?” I poked again when no one answered.
“For our club,” Joe grunted.
I was missing something critical.
“What club?” I narrowed my eyes at Joe. Of the three of them, he was the most likely to spill. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body, even if he was a giant tease sometimes—exhibit A, right now.
“The We Hate Brendon Club,” Joe said the words without any guilt whatsoever.
“The…”what?
“We Hate Brendon Club,” Lacey filled in the blank. “Alternatively known as the Get George A Better Boyfriend Initiative. That name was too long and too complicated so we scrapped it.”
“Dad’s still mad about that,” Mom muttered.
“The new name makes more sense. It’s practical.”
“You’rekidding.” They didnothave a club. That was—that was ridiculous.
“Do Ilooklike I’m kidding?” Lacey gestured to her face, which was as stern as always. Her pale hair was gelled back, not a single strand out of place. Andshe was wearing a pencil skirt and blouse, despite the fact we were camping.
Intimidating and impractical, just like her.
