She’s right. I’ve come too far to let my mother break me again. But the scars she’s left—I wonder if I’ll ever heal.
Chapter Seven
Theo
It’s alwaysquiet after Wren leaves. A lot of people want silence, but not me. I wish there was more noise. Growing up, Mom worked late at night to early morning at the hospital. She needed the shift differential on top of her average hourly pay to afford the mortgage, bills, and food. Before Wren, I would stay up at night playing WoSaF and talking to strangers. After Wren, we would hang out on a video call and fall asleep together. It was always us.
No one else mattered.
I can’t remember when our nightly calls ended. Maybe when we started college? Neither of us moved far after we graduated from high school. Wren opted to attend classes at the local community college while I studied at the nearby university. I only went because I received a scholarship, but it wasn’t enough when you added in the cost of textbooks. My girlfriend at the time came up with the video idea, and I did it on the chance we might make a few bucks. Also, what guy doesn’t secretly want to film themselves fucking their girl?
Did I think I was good at sex? Absolutely not. At first, I thought Addie was someone who overexaggerated in thebedroom. Until the video went viral, and the comments from women started rolling in.
That’s how a woman wants to be pleased.
I’d give anything to be fucked by that man.
How does it feel to be god’s favorite?
The responses went to my head. From one video, we made it to the top one percent on the website we uploaded to, and I wanted more. The money was nice, but it was the reactions I craved. Addie was only my second girlfriend, and I wasn’t used to being noticed by the opposite sex. Sure, I would catch Wren admiring me here and there, but she was my friend and nothing more.
When you grow up alone and have only a handful of friends, you become greedy for attention, and I was starving. Addie wanted to stop after the first video; we fought tooth and nail over the subject. Long story short, we broke up because I wanted to keep filming. I didn’t grieve our relationship.
Multiple partners and dozens of videos later, my secret gained me fame. Everyone at school knew who I was and what I was doing. Before I knew it, women were begging me to have sex with them. And fuck, did it feel good.
Wren didn’t catch on right away; she’s smart, but she was dealing with her own shit. It wasn’t until I started canceling our plans that she knew something was going on. She has her own trauma, and I should have known better. For years, I put Wren first, and then suddenly, we stopped hanging out. It was an emotional disaster waiting to happen.
I remember the look on her face; it shattered my heart. She was used to being alone before me. I became the only constant in her life. She was my rock, and I was hers, and I almost ruined it because I was addicted to the high of fucking strangers on camera. When I told her what I was doing, her complexionpaled even more than her porcelain white skin, and her mouth dropped slightly while she said, “Oh.”
I was prepared to beg her not to leave me. The last thing I needed was to lose my best friend because I had started down an unconventional path. Wren wasn’t a prude, but she didn’t have the experience I had. So, when she said, “Are you being safe?” I knew Wren was more than I ever deserved.
To this day, she’s been a never-ending source of support. When I contracted my first STD, not only did she kick my ass, she made an appointment for me and followed up daily to ensure I took my medication, and then she did the unexpected.
She helped me come up with a plan.
With her, we drafted a list of girls who would become regular filming partners, and when they all replied saying that they wanted in, Wren gave me her signature “I told you so” look.
Look at me now—a successful college dropout who still makes videos and posts them online for anyone to see. With a comfortable home, a nice car, and a sizable bank account, it could be argued that I’m living the dream.
But the one thing I want most in this world I can never have.
I mean, look at me—someone who lost track of their body count years ago.
And don’t get me started on Mom. Thank the stars, she doesn’t know about my career choice. She would rip off my cojones and hang them from her review mirror.
Flipping onto my back, I grunt in frustration when my ears begin to ring. Wren suggested I should watch something while I try to sleep. So, I grab my phone and scroll until I land on our favorite comfort cartoon. Placing it on my right side, I roll over and get comfortable by shoving my arm under my pillow and using it to cradle my head. The character’s voices bring a welcome distraction. With a long sigh, I close my eyes and focus on the noise, happy the silence is gone.
Just as I’m about to fall asleep, my phone vibrates against the mattress. Squinting, I pick it up and see Brandy calling me. My stomach lurches. Brandy never calls me. In fact, I’m pretty sure she despises my very existence.
I answer without another thought. “Hello?”
“Theo, listen to me. Wren’s mother showed up?—”
“What!?” I leap out of bed and scramble toward a pair of jeans I left on the floor.
“It was a few hours ago, but?—”
“Is she okay?” I ask in a panic.
