Page 15 of Someone Save My Midlife Tonight
“Are you reading my mind?” I asked, squinting at him.
“No, but great minds think alike,” he replied, cupping Alana Catherine’s cheek in his strong hand. “Baby girl,” he whispered. “Can you tell mama and dada why the Higher Power wants you?”
Alana Catherine studied our serious expressions for a long moment. “Mama. Dada. Babeeeeeeeee! Nard!” she finished her sentence with a giggle and a toot.
I closed my eyes and laughed. “Umm… I’m going to go with a no on that one. However, Candy Vargo has clearly been rubbing off on her. I swear I’ll lose my mind if her next words are Merlin’s magical nards.”
“Or an anatomically correct body part that isn’t technically a curse word,” Gideon added. He paused and booped Alana Catherine’s nose. “Is this normal?”
“Define normal.”
“Her speaking and generally knowing what she’s saying at this age.”
I shrugged. “No, but then again, she’s not a typical baby.”
“There might be a possibility that this is only the beginning,” he told me.
“Of what?”
He shook his head. “Of her speaking… possibly full sentences… soon.”
“From your mouth,” I whispered, wondering if he was correct. It would solve a whole heck of a lot of problems if that was the case. But a small part of me wanted her to go through all the stages at the right time… like a normal little girl.
This had been a memorable and humbling moment. But all good things had to end.
The shouts from the house chilled my blood. From the lack of explosions, I gathered no one was dying, but the argument sounded intense. Gideon’s downy black wings burst from his back and my fingers began to spit flames. My guess was that Shitty Ritchie had arrived.
Gideon snapped his fingers and produced a baby backpack. He slipped it on with the body pack on his chest. He quickly secured Alana Catherine into it. The look was insane. A demonic fallen Angel with a baby strapped to his chest and his wings on full display wasn’t an everyday occurrence. “Can you drop a small protection shield around her? Don’t include me, just Alana Catherine.”
“On it,” I said, carefully and meticulously creating a ward around the most precious person in our lives. “Done.”
“You ready?” he asked.
“Wanna tell me what I should be ready for?”
He shook his head. “Hard to explain. You have to see it to believe it.”
Shitty Ritchie was small.Not as in little-person small or a guy who was short. The Immortal was tiny—more like a doll with a shock of silvery-gray hair that stood straight up on his head and piercing blue eyes. He wore a royal blue sweatsuit that he had to have gotten off a doll clothes website, and his itty-bitty feet were bare. He stood on the coffee table and eyed the gathering with ire. The sneer on his minute face was impressive. He couldn’t be more than eight inches tall… if that. Though, even pocket-sized, it was clear he was magical and mean.
I’d been expecting an enormous, terrifying hulk of a man. A heads-up on his size might have been helpful. I was so shocked, I almost tripped over my own feet when I spotted him. All of my people, including Charlie, were standing together on the far side of the room. I did a quick accounting of everyone and was grateful that Missy, Amelia, June and Jennifer were gone. Tory was also absent, which meant she was protecting them. There was no telling what Shitty Ritchie could or would do. The other Immortals in the room would survive it. The humans? Most likely not.
My dogs sat by the front door. Donna looked like she wanted a go at Shitty Ritchie and Karen was oblivious to the tension. Ahh… to be a black lab. I snapped my fingers and motioned for them to go outside. Having no clue what was about to go down, I didn’t want them getting harmed. I would skin Shitty Ritchie alive if he hurt my fur babies. Donna understood my message. She nudged Karen through the dog door then followed her out. I heaved a sigh of relief. My dogs were safe and my baby was surrounded by a protection ward. The rest of us? We could take care of ourselves. I hoped.
So far, so good… ish.
Rafe, Gabe, Abby and Prue were back. Zander, Catriona, Lura Belle, Dimple and Jolly Sue were missing, but I assumed they went to Candy’s with the others. The only ghosts in the room were Gram, her beau Mr. Jackson and Jimmy George Carrots. Everyone was on edge except for Jimmy George Carrots. I had no clue as to why, but didn’t have time to address it. Jimmy George Carrots had some screws loose.
I waited for someone to say something.
No onesaid anything.
The stare down was getting ridiculous. Shitty Ritchie was grumbling under his breath. I was pretty sure he’d called all of us a plethora of obscene names. He also had seriously sharp teeth that he enjoyed gnashing. If Shitty Ritchie was a cannibal, I was going to kick Charlie’s ass for bringing him here. Getting eaten was not on my top ten list of things to do. Ever. The reasons for no one wanting him here were becoming more evident with each passing second.
I considered my options. If Shitty Ritchie came at me, I could step on him and do some damage. I was fast. At top speed, I was invisible. My combat boots would probably save my foot from getting bitten off. The fact that I had to even consider that was freaking unbelievable. Whatever. It was what it was. I was also surrounded by some of the most powerful Immortals in existence. Knowledge of Shitty Ritchie’s strengths and weaknesses would have been helpful, but maybe ignorance would be bliss.
Fingers were crossed hard.
“Hello, Shitty Ritchie,” I said, keeping a fair amount of distance between us and my tone friendly. “I’m Daisy. Thank you for coming and welcome to my home. It’s a ahhh… pleasure to meet you.”
