“It makes a good story at dinner parties though. Remember last Christmas when you were so out of control that you got divorced and bagged yourself a boyfriend?”
“Nuts.” He laughed. “I was definitely out of control. Bought a wreck of a house and a bike and thought I could live happily ever after with those rats of ours.”
“Wonder where they all moved to. I miss them. Humpty, Dumpty, Lumpty and… what was the fourth one?”
“We only ever caught three, then we released them, and they probably all came straight back or maybe it was only one rat that we caught three times…”
“It was more than three, all those droppings! Must have been a whole squadron of rats under the floorboards here.”
“It was winter, and the poor rats were cold. And we had no food in the house anyway, so god knows what they ate. It was insane.”
“Last December was insane. I don’t think I slept much. When I wasn’t working, I was studying, and the rest of the time I was thinking about you. All the bloody time. It was exhausting.”
“It’s a whole year. We’ve managed a whole year living here.”
“I know. Madness.”
“Happy anniversary, my Charlie.”
“Happy one year of insanity, my Daniel. I love the tree. Thank you. I love the idea of planting it outside, baubles and all. Then it will grow sixty metres tall, and we will end up feuding with all the neighbours over our ridiculous blinking Christmas tree.”
“It will be our Christmas tree.”
“Our thing.”
“Our thing?”
“Another thing. That will be ours.”
“I’m your thing?”
“Always.”
He was as well. My Daniel. He’s my thing. My man. My partner and my best friend in the world. He was the man who held my heart and who loved me and held my feet on the ground. He gave me roots. Roots that were wrapped deeply in the foundations of this house and that grew tightly all around his heart. He told me he loved me. I still never said it back. He said it didn’t matter as long as we did our thing.
“I think I could say it back, but it would sound stupid, you know, after all this time.”
“I know you love me, baby. I know it. It’s okay. It’s just another one of our things.”
“I, you know, forever and all that.”
“Charlie, use words.” He laughed, stroking my fringe out of my face.
“Fuck you, Daniel.”
“Fuck you too, Charles.”
“I love you, you wanker,” I hissed into his neck as he giggled and stroked my back.
“I know you do.”
I knew it too. And that was the thing with Daniel. He was mine as I was his, and with him holding my hand we would get through whatever the future threw at us.
“Show me those plans for the bakery,” I said, sitting myself down at the table, a loud sigh spilling out of my chest. “Let’s see if we can make this thing easier for all of us, and then let’s just do it.”
He showed me. And then we did. We made things happen. But that’s a completely different story.
