“What, this ugly face with the enormous nose?” I point to my face, feigning confidence, secretly hoping they don’t notice how completely broken I feel inside.
I’m clearly not doing a great job of masking the lack of sleep I’ve had and exhaustion from working out too much because Jacob declares, “You look like shit.”
I sigh and slide my sunglasses that are resting on top of my head downward, pushing them up my nose to hide the deep circles under my eyes. “Can’t sleep. It’s too hot,” I lie, my voicedeflated. It’s got nothing to do with the heat, and they already know that. They can read me like a book, even when I try to hide how I’m feeling. You think I’d be better at it; I’ve been doing it my whole life.
Skye pulls a gentle smile, looping her arm round Jacob’s shoulders. “You can be honest with us, Owen. It’s okay to admit you’re struggling.”
Behind the dark lenses of my sunglasses, I watch Jacob rest his reassuring hand on Skye’s swollen, pregnant belly.
While I am over the moon for them, a small tug of jealousy pulls at my heart.
Will I ever find the one?
Waiting for my response, my friends stay silent before I finally admit, “It’s my heart and head that are at odds with one another. Did I do the right thing?”
United, they confirm I did with firm yeses, sealing their approval with confident head nods.
“I heard Evangeline was screwing Adam Blumenthal the whole time you were together.”Why does that news not surprise me?
“Linc,” Violet exclaims in shock, slapping the worktop with the palm of her hand. “We talked about this. We agreed to wait and tell Owen later.”
His eyes widen, his palm up with an open hand in my direction. “He should know now. He has no reason to feel bad about his decision. She wasn’t right for Owen, and we all know that.”
“I agree,” Skye chimes in. “She never wanted the marriage either, Owen, and we all witnessed how much you tried to make it work while you were engaged. We watched you give it your best shot, but she was so rude and mean to you. I can’t figure out how you lasted as long as you did. We stood by your decision toget married because we care about you, but we could see she wasn’t right for you.”
“I couldfeelit.” Way down in my gut, every time I looked into her empty eyes. I felt her disapproval, despair, and hopelessness; it’s how I feel every time I look in the mirror. A duel of sorts, an inner battle of doing your duty to implement the family strategy while sacrificing the things you want the most: approval from your parents, love, and happiness.A hug.
I was raised being told those things don’t matter because my worth is based on wealth. What I have is more important than the qualities I have as a man.
Skye is right. Evangeline was in the same position, and we were being the good little pedigree puppy dogs our mothers trained us to be. That was, until I had the balls to put a stop to it all and walk away. Although, unlike her, I did remain faithful.
I clear my throat, rubbing my hand over the scruff on my chin. “Anyway, Evangeline, the wedding, none of it matters anymore.” The weight on my shoulders instantly feels lighter. “I hope she finds happiness with Adam.” The five of us pause for a moment, letting the honesty of what I have said settle between us.
“I’m proud of you,” Lincoln says. “You’ve taken the higher ground.”
Jacob leans forward expectantly as if wanting to ask me something. His body language is obvious. He’s worried about me, he wants me home, where he knows I am safe, and he and Lincoln can look after me should I fall into a downward spiral. Which, for the record, I will not do. Not again. I did it once when I first learned about the deal my father made with Evangeline’s father. Turning to liquor for too many nights… Who am I kidding—weeks. Searching for a solution to my problems at the bottom of the bottle didn’t work. I couldn’t drink them away. Knowing how pointless it is, I refuse to do it again.
Confirmation of Evangeline’s relationship with Adam is a reassurance of sorts. I know I did the right thing. She would never have been mine and extra-marital affairs make me want to vomit.
“How long are you planning on staying in Cyprus?” Jacob finally asks.
“Gregor is here training for a month, and he’s staying in this pretty sweet villa.” I thumb over my shoulder in the direction of my large, white temporary home. “The Officer’s Mess on the air base is being remodeled, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stay with him, so I may as well take advantage.” It’s not as if I have anything to go back for. I’m certain I’ve lost my job and my gate house home within the grounds of my parents’ estate.
“Gregor has such a cool job.” Lincoln looks starry-eyed, as if imagining himself being a fast jet pilot.
“Epic job,” Jacob agrees. “He does that every year, right? Goes out to Cyprus to train?”
“Usually for four weeks, yeah, but he’s been here a week longer than everyone else. The others are arriving today.” Gregor told me that they either come to Cyprus or Greece for their Springhawk training every year because the blue skies and sunshine allow them to practice over and over again. “This is Gregor’s last year. He’s only assigned to the aerobatic squadron for three years, then he has to return to his permanent fast jet squadron.” He was sharing stories with me earlier. It makes my life in Castleview Cove look excruciatingly dull.
“What does he do?” Violet scrunches her face up, as if trying to recall if she already knows the answer.
I wipe the beads of sweat that have formed off my brow and push my sunglasses back up my nose as I reply. “Gregor is anaerobatic pilot in the Royal Air Force.” I grab my uncapped bottled water off the table next to me and take a huge mouthful.
Violet’s face lights up. “Does he do all that cool acrobatic stuff for the Royal Family, like the show from the Jubilee celebrations at the palace? With the red, white, and blue smoke?”
“The very one.” I lick the cool water off my lips, smirking at how excited Violet gets about all things British. She may be a California girl through and through, but she’s embraced Scottish living like a duck to water. “Wow, I bet he has to fight the women off. What a job.” She sighs in awe.
“Will we see you when Gregor returns? Do you reckon you’ll come back?” Skye raises her eyebrows inquisitively, and I nod hesitantly, not sure if I will be back. “Or will you stay in Cyprus?” she continues. “Your longer hair does make you look like a beach bum.” She pulls a soft smile, lightening the mood. “You’ll fit right in.”
