It took her a moment to respond. “When you guys kissed during my heat… I lost it.”
My nerves pricked at that. “You didn’t want us together?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I love seeing you guys together. But while I was in heat I wasn’t thinking right. I was just thinking‘MINE’ in every direction, so seeing you touch or kiss in that moment just made me… snap.”
I could understand that. Heat was actually a pretty emotional and sometimes stressful time for an omega, so her being a bit territorial about either of us made sense, and it made me feel a bit good that it was about me as well.
“I understand. I just… no matter how uncomfortable it might be never want to be lied to again. I appreciate you looking out for my feelings, but I can handle myself. And we’re pack now.”
She gave a watery smile. “Yeah, we are. And I love our little pack.”
My heart squeezed. “I love you too.”
Her smile faltered a touch, the corner of her mouth twitching. “And Charlie?”
I sighed. I did love him too, but something about what he did hurt worse. “I do love him, I just… don’t know how to forgive him in the same way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m… just not him.”
Wrinkles formed between her brows as they pinched in confusion. “Yeah, you’re you.”
I snorted. “No I mean… I’m not a smart alphahole. I’m just… a beta.”
“First of all, you’re not just anything,” Tara said intensely. “Second, there’s no reason to envy Charlie, you’re perfect the way you are.”
“You’re just saying that because you love me,” I joked.
“And because you’re not Charlie. I love you for being you.”
“I know. And it’s not even Charlie’s fault I feel this way. It’s just me.”
Tara looked to turn that over in her head for a few moments. “What if you could… exert some power over him.”
I blinked. “What do you mean.”
She crawled on me then. “I mean, we invite him over and I show you what it’s like to domme. On stream.”
My entire body warmed. “Top Charlie?”
She nodded. “It always makes me feel better.”
I chuckled. I wanted to tell her that was probably silly, but the more I thought about it, the better it sounded. “Okay.”
I paced around my apartment.It had been a few days since I spoke with Tara, and though we seemed okay now, she went to Jesse’s and I hadn’t heard from her since. Were they both now mad at me again? I normally wasn’t one to spiral, or I tried not to be, but right now I couldn’t help it.
Cameo - Hey, want to do drinks?
No, I really didn’t, especially not with Cam. He was an excellent business partner and… generally a good person, but he was also an ass.
I started typing out my excuse when I started thinking about how that would probably be better than just sitting here loosing my mind. At least if I was there I probably wouldn’t spiral as hard.
Charlie - yeah, I’ll be there.
I didn’t bother changing or doing anything before I grabbed my keys and headed out. We still met at the same college bar we went to years ago. Though we both had much more money now and could probably afford something more upscale than arun down dive with room temperature beer and sticky floors, the nostalgia always brought us back. It was cliche, but we had planned our business there. Not on napkins like they did in the movies, but we had laptops out, drinks in hand, and a basket of fries in front of us until last call.
I arrived, sitting in one of the least ratty looking stools and ordered a manhattan. I really needed to feel what I was going to drink tonight.
