Page 75 of Primal Hunger
“We were trying to figure out a way to get me home.”
Her voice drops, and along with the statement, a yawning emptiness in my head blots out everything else.
Home.
She is home.
There is no going back from what we’ve done, or how far we’ve come together.
“I know it sounds crazy, but if we managed to communicate with each other, then I believe there’s a way to form a bridge between our worlds using the same signal.” Her words come out in a rush. “I think I can build a machine to amplify the signal with some of the items you have on your shelves. I just—with the Ech and everything—I never had a chance to actually look.”
“You want to leave me.”
Speaking it out loud sends a spike of pain through my chest. The anger has shifted to hurt at the thought of her leaving. It’s the last thing I want, despite the shortness of our time together.
I dread it. Going back to the loneliness, the isolation and the unquenchable hunger.
None of those things exist when I’m with Erin.
“It’s not that simple, Syros,” she whispers. “What we have is amazing, truly, but… I don’t belong here. It’s too dangerous; I can’t survive here.”
“I can protect you,” I growl out. How can she not see that? I will go to any lengths, do whatever it takes, to keep her safe in my world. “With your ability to see the Ech and my strength, no one will ever hurt you again. You will be safe.”
A pained smile curls the corners of her mouth, but it quickly disappears. “It’s not just that, Syros. I-I belong on Earth. I have a life and a job and… I want to go home.”
My chest constricts, like all the air has been ripped from my lungs, and every heartbeat after is a painful throb behind my ribs.
She wants to go home.
She wants to leave me.
The reality is hard to swallow, but despite the pain, I understand. She is right, this world isn’t safe for her. It’s dark and menacing and dangerous, and she is delicate. I would do anything to keep her safe, give my life to protect her, but would it ever be enough? She already almost died once. Who is to say it won’t happen again?
I take a deep breath to clear my thoughts, straining to keep my hold on her gentle. I say nothing as I gather her to my chest, absorbing the feel of her body on mine.
I could always keep her here anyway, regardless of her desires. I could destroy her precious radio so she can never contact her world again. I could tie her up and force her to stay, but… is that really what I want?
What kind of life will she be able to have when she is trapped inside the cabin? I’ve already seen the wildness in her; She deserves much more than a life of imprisonment. Not to mention, she would hate me. She would loathe me for keeping her trapped, despite how close we’ve grown since I brought her through the portal.
Part of me doesn’t care. She can hate me all she wants, but I’ll have the one thing I need more than anything else:her.
Erin is the only thing I need to be happy, to survive in this bleak wasteland of a world.
However, the other part of me, the part that has my chest throbbing with an unfamiliar ache, doesn’t want her to hate me. It wants to provide for her, whatever she needs.
And if what she needs is not me…
I’m silent for a long stretch of time.
“Will going home make you happy?” I finally ask, the words burning up my throat. “Will being far away from me, never seeing me again, satisfy you?”
Her mouth falls open, but no words escape. They don’t have to. Her answer shines clearly in her eyes, and simultaneously shreds through me like a pair of claws.
She doesn’t want me the way I want her; She doesn’t want me enough to stay.
And I want her too much to keep her against her will.
“If you want to leave, then I will help you,” I agree, forcing the words out despite the lump in my throat. “Whatever you need, if it is within my power, I will find a way to get it for you.”
